The Power of Words

It was recently brought to my attention that one particular friend of mine is really good about using her words to build her husband up.  Since then, I have been observing for myself and trying to learn from her example.

I noticed that complimenting her husband out loud communicates two things to outsiders.  First, it tells me a bit about their relationship.  By choosing words that bind, not divide, the two of them, she communicates that her marriage is healthy and that it is a priority to her to keep it that way.  Secondly hearing good words about a person I don't know very well leads me to admire and respect her husband for the same qualities she sees in him. The impression I get from the words she uses to describe him and the stories she shares about him is that he is wise and noble and kind and generous and brave.

Isn't that the kind of description I want people to have of my own husband?  And doesn't he deserve to be known for those qualities too?  Adel is wise and noble and kind and generous and brave.  Sometimes I chose to joke about his weaknesses instead of praise those strengths. It never occurred to me before that every story I tell and every joke or remark I make about my husband, builds the impression someone else holds of him.  And he deserves the best impression possible because he is an amazing guy.  I want to make sure my words about him communicate that.

The Bible gives some examples of the kind of wife I don't want to be:  "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day" (Proverbs 27:15).  I love that picture of the words the quarrelsome wife speaks coming constantly like an annoying drip.  The Bible also provides an example of how a godly wife should speak: "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness" (Proverbs 31: 15).  

Sometimes it just takes a small kick in the pants to bring something to the forefront of my thoughts and help me change my habits.  I want to make a habit of curbing any public criticizing of, or complaining about, the man I love and using my words to build him up and love on him instead.

For starters, I'm going to list 10 things here that I LOVE about Adel.

Adel is:

1. SO patient with my emotions and whims and schemes
2. Constant and faithful no matter whether I deserve it or not
3. A dedicated, involved, fun dad
4. Extremely intelligent
5. A hard worker, shining above the rest in whatever he does
6. Honorable in his habits, words, and deeds
7. Very helpful around the house with anything that needs done
8. A better cook than me
9. Resourceful at learning about and mastering new skills
10. An excellent provider and financial planner

Now I've realized something else.  It's something I already knew but time and lapsed habits have made me forget for a while.  I remember now that the act of giving the compliment helps me to focus on what I love about this man.  Using my words to focus on his strengths instead of his weaknesses actually helps me remember why I love him so much.