Colossians 3:17

"And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus,
giving thanks to God the Father through Him."

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

How do you put your husband first?

I have always been taught that God was to be my highest priority, followed  by husband.  Everything else was to fall in line behind those two priorities.  And I agree with that to this day.  The trouble is, often what I believe to be true is not consistent with the choices I actually make.  I was convicted recently, yet again, that my sweet husband had again taken the backseat in my daily comings and goings.  Sometimes everything else seems so important and he is so steady and faithful that it is easy to take him for granted.
So, I thought it would be encouraging for growth to investigate practical ways that a wife can "prefer" her husband to the other things she has in her life.  I mean, what are some ways that I can move from simply believing that my husband should be a priority to actually living that out.  Here's a few starter ideas but I'd really like to collect some ideas and inspiration from other wives (if you're a wife, and you're reading this, I mean YOU):

Over Self:
I can prefer him over myself by encouraging him to spend time doing things he enjoys, even if it means taking time away from me and the kids.  He actually really likes being with us and is not an initiator so there have been a few times that I have actually planned things for him and then pushed him out the door with assurances that it was okay.

I have been talking about this one recently with some of my awesome Christian girlfriends.  We are encouraging each other to make a more frequent effort toward intimacy.  I know it's important to him and I usually even admit it's important to me...when I am able to get over my own selfish excuses.


Over Kids:
Both of my kids go through phases of wanting nothing to do with their own beds.  They just want to spend the night snuggling with Mommy.  And part of me would love to do this, especially when they're crying so emphatically to come downstairs.  But I believe it's a matter of choosing my husband over my kids to insist that my kids sleep in their own beds.  This gives the two of us time to spend together before we go to bed.

I know some women make it a rule to enforce 10 minutes of uninterrupted conversation with their husbands when they come home from work.  I think this is a wonderful rule but I can't seem to get my kids to stop talking for 1 minute, much less 10.  Anyone do this well who has tips?

We have been scheduling dates nights once a month (doing a child-care swap with friends of ours) for over a year.  It's wonderful for us to have time to be together without the kids and not just at the end of the day when we're exhausted.  We recently added a second date night each month, swapping kids with other friends of ours.  Those two nights are my favorite nights of the month!


Over Others:
I like to plan fun events ahead on the calendar.  Most of the time there's not a problem when the day rolls around for the planned event.  But sometimes, our family life seems stressed and I have to realize that I need to put my husband (and family) before those events with other people.  Sometimes this means a last-minute cancelling of plans.

This one is kind of silly, but I've actually cleaned the bathroom with this thought in mind!  When I clean the guest powder room, I am working toward my guests' comfort.  It is really easy for me to skip a week cleaning our master bathroom because, hey, my husband and I are the only ones who will see it.  But it would be preferring my husband to my guests if I kept his bathroom equally as clean for his comfort.


Okay, now it's your turn.  What do you do to prefer your husband and make him a higher priority than yourself, your kids, or others?  I really would love to hear some great, inspirational ideas so add them to the comments below!

4 comments:

proverbs31women said...

One thing that I may put infront of my husband is helping others. Being a youth leader I sometimes have kids that need to talk, and go late when he gets home. But when he gets home it family time. So I have been learning unless I ask my husband first before talking with someone or a student, then I shouldnt be doing it. Ofcouse when I ask, he ask the LORD, to see if its something that needs to address right now or at a later time.
1) with the 10 min of talking time with your husband when he gets home.The kids im sure are just excited to talk to daddy just as you are. I suggest though that when its yalls turn to talk though , you let the kids know that. When they dont listen, discipline them. The bible saysTrain a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."
[Proverbs 22:6]
This can be whatever you discipline acting are, time out, spankens, whatever is working for you. But when you say something, or ask them not interrput you while talking they should listen to us, and its up to us to get the to listen .
I pray this helped out . Be blessed

meganlagoy.blogspot.com said...

From Celine:

My computer wouldn't open the link so I thought I would just write it here. I try to get Nathan's coffee ready for him at night so its all set to go off for him in the am. (he is not a breakfast guy or I would make it for him) I also try to have his lunch ready for him when he gets home for lunch even if it means the kids wait to eat. I acknowledge him when he gets home....drop what I am doing. (sometimes I don't do this well but I try) Also I make sure the house is picked up when he gets home from work so its refreshing when he gets in and not a dump. Oh and I try to rub his feet often he really likes that! Silly little things that I know he likes. Not sure if that helps I sure could use some tips from other people if you get some!

Tara said...

-Have an "unplugged" night...no tv, computer, cell phone.
-Wait and have a dinner date at home after the kids are in bed (only works if your kids go to bed early).
-When hubby is in the bathroom for his 20 minute "break", TRY to keep the kids from bothering him. I know I would like that!!!
-I have a nice dinner ready (or almost ready) when he gets home...and the house is straightened. He would like it if the kids were clean and dressed...but that usually doesn't happen!
-DON'T NAG! They know what needs to be done...it just may not be as high on their priority list as it is on yours.
-I don't commit to more than one girls night per week.

Unknown said...

There is a new book out there titled, "No more Headaches". It's worth the read. :)