The Power of Words

It was recently brought to my attention that one particular friend of mine is really good about using her words to build her husband up.  Since then, I have been observing for myself and trying to learn from her example.

I noticed that complimenting her husband out loud communicates two things to outsiders.  First, it tells me a bit about their relationship.  By choosing words that bind, not divide, the two of them, she communicates that her marriage is healthy and that it is a priority to her to keep it that way.  Secondly hearing good words about a person I don't know very well leads me to admire and respect her husband for the same qualities she sees in him. The impression I get from the words she uses to describe him and the stories she shares about him is that he is wise and noble and kind and generous and brave.

Isn't that the kind of description I want people to have of my own husband?  And doesn't he deserve to be known for those qualities too?  Adel is wise and noble and kind and generous and brave.  Sometimes I chose to joke about his weaknesses instead of praise those strengths. It never occurred to me before that every story I tell and every joke or remark I make about my husband, builds the impression someone else holds of him.  And he deserves the best impression possible because he is an amazing guy.  I want to make sure my words about him communicate that.

The Bible gives some examples of the kind of wife I don't want to be:  "A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day" (Proverbs 27:15).  I love that picture of the words the quarrelsome wife speaks coming constantly like an annoying drip.  The Bible also provides an example of how a godly wife should speak: "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness" (Proverbs 31: 15).  

Sometimes it just takes a small kick in the pants to bring something to the forefront of my thoughts and help me change my habits.  I want to make a habit of curbing any public criticizing of, or complaining about, the man I love and using my words to build him up and love on him instead.

For starters, I'm going to list 10 things here that I LOVE about Adel.

Adel is:

1. SO patient with my emotions and whims and schemes
2. Constant and faithful no matter whether I deserve it or not
3. A dedicated, involved, fun dad
4. Extremely intelligent
5. A hard worker, shining above the rest in whatever he does
6. Honorable in his habits, words, and deeds
7. Very helpful around the house with anything that needs done
8. A better cook than me
9. Resourceful at learning about and mastering new skills
10. An excellent provider and financial planner

Now I've realized something else.  It's something I already knew but time and lapsed habits have made me forget for a while.  I remember now that the act of giving the compliment helps me to focus on what I love about this man.  Using my words to focus on his strengths instead of his weaknesses actually helps me remember why I love him so much.

Little Miss No Sleep

Since we got rid of Binky over a month ago, Abby has been having some sleep adjustments.  Meaning...she hardly sleeps any more.  She does NOT take a nap EVER these days unless she falls asleep in the car for five minutes going here or there.  And, though one would think that with the sudden loss of the nap habit, she would drift instantly off to sleep at bedtime each night, she spends an hour or two playing, reading, and talking to herself in her bed.  She loves reciting books from heart: "Peas porridge hot.  Peas porridge cold..."  At the very least, if she doesn't follow the rules to stay in her bed, she is at least in her bedroom.  Tonight, for example, she played  from her 7:30pm bedtime until 9:00pm when I found her like this:

She was on the floor of her bedroom and at least she found a pillow on which to rest her weary head.

Looking forward to the day when she will sleep with a bit more regularity!  In the meantime, at least she's stinkin' cute.

Fixer-Upper Room

This post is really for some girlfriends I was talking to, attempting to explain my vision for how I want to redecorate my dining room.  First of all, I want to take you on the typically convoluted thought process that got me to this point.  A few months ago I was bit pretty hard by the decorating bug.  I swapped the furniture in my living room and TV room (I love it!) and had plans for making purchases of curtains and a new rug.  Then we found out about Orion probably being canceled and the thought that we might move put all my purchasing plans on hold.  Why would I spend money on a house we might move out of in a few months?  But, it has been several months and what little news we've received has been encouraging.  We still have no idea whether we'll be here a year from now or not.  So in short, I've decided I don't just want to keep waiting for the ax to fall.  I'm going to keep living here like I live here.

Thus, I got inspired last week to redo my dining room.  We've used our formal dining room maybe 10 times for actual sit-down meals in the three-and-a-half years we've lived here.  I want to make the room more usable for us.  So, we started by swapping the furniture in our breakfast room and dining room.

Our "new" breakfast room.

There is still a table that seats six to eight in the "dining room" so, along with the breakfast room table that seats the same, we can still host a sit-down meal for up to sixteen.  However, by moving the china cabinet into the TV room (I know, that's weird, but there was nowhere else to put it), my plan is to convert my "dining room" into a sitting room / game room for use when we're not hosting formal meals (which doesn't happen very often!).  Thanks to all our Bible study guys who helped move it!

Let me know if you think the china cabinet is too weird here.

I think it looks fine, but I'm interested to see if any of you will speak up and tell me it's tacky.  I really don't have a knack for decorating!

My plan for the "dining" room is to use our mix-match furniture as best as I can and tie it together with new curtains, a rug, and probably a table cloth.  The theme is inspired by coordinating pieces I pulled from around the house.  I want to base the color scheme on these pieces that all have black, burnt orange, gold, and red:

I also want to add a funky-cool Southeast Asian-inspired feel to the room.  Think "Pier One" but with Walmart prices. These are some more pieces I'd like to use that I bought in hippie markets on my travels:

And I want to use this hand-carved chess set too, to go with the "game room" idea:

Lastly, as I gather my decorative accessories, I will settle on a color for the walls and perhaps change the lighting in the room too.  As always, I'm open for any ideas or tips!  I know some of you have amazing taste.

Recipe #6: Pesto Chicken with Zucchini

Mmmmm!  At our small group retreat a few weeks ago, I first tried Pesto Chicken.  Then, as I was looking for a new recipe to try this week, I came across it in Better Homes and Gardens Fresh and Simple cookbook:

4 medium skinless, boneless chicken breast halves
2 tbsp pesto
2 cups chopped zucchini and/or yellow summer squash
2 tbsp shredded Asiago or Parmesan
1 tbsp olive oil

In a large nonstick skillet, cook chicken in hot olive oil over medium heat for 4 minutes.  Turn chicken; add squash.  Cook until chicken is no longer pink and squash is crisp-tender, stirring squash gently once or twice  Transfer chicken and squash to dinner plates.  Spread pesto over chicken; sprinkle with cheese.

My changes:

I cooked wheat pasta to go along with it and after straining it, I added a tablespoon of butter and a handful of the shredded cheese to it.  I also turned up the heat at the end of cooking the chicken/zucchini for a browned outside.

Another good note:
Pesto freezes and thaws really well and so does shredded cheese.  So, I can keep the leftover pesto and cheese in my freezer, uncooked pasta in my pantry, and chicken in my freezer.  Pull it all out and this is an anytime kind of meal (just add the veggie)!

Our scores:
Adel: 8/10 The only thing that would make this better for him is if it were Chinese food.  ;)
Me: 10/10 Simple, easy, healthy, and tasty.  Pretty near perfect for a family meal.
Isaac: 8/10 Loved the pasta, ate the chicken with ketchup and ranch instead of pesto and tasted the zucchini.
Abby: 8/10 Pretty much ditto big brother.

How do you put your husband first?

I have always been taught that God was to be my highest priority, followed  by husband.  Everything else was to fall in line behind those two priorities.  And I agree with that to this day.  The trouble is, often what I believe to be true is not consistent with the choices I actually make.  I was convicted recently, yet again, that my sweet husband had again taken the backseat in my daily comings and goings.  Sometimes everything else seems so important and he is so steady and faithful that it is easy to take him for granted.

So, I thought it would be encouraging for growth to investigate practical ways that a wife can "prefer" her husband to the other things she has in her life.  I mean, what are some ways that I can move from simply believing that my husband should be a priority to actually living that out.  Here's a few starter ideas but I'd really like to collect some ideas and inspiration from other wives (if you're a wife, and you're reading this, I mean YOU):

Over Self:
I can prefer him over myself by encouraging him to spend time doing things he enjoys, even if it means taking time away from me and the kids.  He actually really likes being with us and is not an initiator so there have been a few times that I have actually planned things for him and then pushed him out the door with assurances that it was okay.

I have been talking about this one recently with some of my awesome Christian girlfriends.  We are encouraging each other to make a more frequent effort toward intimacy.  I know it's important to him and I usually even admit it's important to me...when I am able to get over my own selfish excuses.

Over Kids:

Both of my kids go through phases of wanting nothing to do with their own beds.  They just want to spend the night snuggling with Mommy.  And part of me would love to do this, especially when they're crying so emphatically to come downstairs.  But I believe it's a matter of choosing my husband over my kids to insist that my kids sleep in their own beds.  This gives the two of us time to spend together before we go to bed.

I know some women make it a rule to enforce 10 minutes of uninterrupted conversation with their husbands when they come home from work.  I think this is a wonderful rule but I can't seem to get my kids to stop talking for 1 minute, much less 10.  Anyone do this well who has tips?

We have been scheduling dates nights once a month (doing a child-care swap with friends of ours) for over a year.  It's wonderful for us to have time to be together without the kids and not just at the end of the day when we're exhausted.  We recently added a second date night each month, swapping kids with other friends of ours.  Those two nights are my favorite nights of the month!

Over Others:

I like to plan fun events ahead on the calendar.  Most of the time there's not a problem when the day rolls around for the planned event.  But sometimes, our family life seems stressed and I have to realize that I need to put my husband (and family) before those events with other people.  Sometimes this means a last-minute cancelling of plans.

This one is kind of silly, but I've actually cleaned the bathroom with this thought in mind!  When I clean the guest powder room, I am working toward my guests' comfort.  It is really easy for me to skip a week cleaning our master bathroom because, hey, my husband and I are the only ones who will see it.  But it would be preferring my husband to my guests if I kept his bathroom equally as clean for his comfort.

Okay, now it's your turn.  What do you do to prefer your husband and make him a higher priority than yourself, your kids, or others?  I really would love to hear some great, inspirational ideas so add them to the comments below!

Isaac = Zelda

Me:  Isaac, how come you're wearing a Tinkerbell dress?

Isaac: It's not a Tinkerbell dress.  It's Zelda's green shirt.

And he's wearing his cowboy boot slippers, superman belt, and knight sword and shield.  Awesome.  He does look like one tough guy (the mohawk helps).  We'll just have to ignore the fact that his "shirt" shimmers in the light and that when he puts down his sword and shield, it looks an awful lot like a Tinkerbell dress.  Teehee.

Happy Mother's Day!

I have been celebrating Mother's Day all week and I'm not finished!  On Tuesday, Abby and I took Mimi and DD (grandma and great grandma) out for tea and lunch.  We love the Holly Berry Tea Room in "Old Town" League City (motto: don't blink or you'll pass it).

On Thursday Abby went to play at a friend's house so I could join Isaac for a Mother's Day tea hosted by his  preschool class.  He had fun serving me my cake and punch.  He also sang this song that made me cry.  In his honor, I'll title it "You Are My Mudder" (this link will take you off this page).  I'm in love with that boy!  (And, yes I just gave him a mohawk...it's our new summer tradition.)

Today (the real Mother's Day) we're just enjoying being a family together at home...a little nap for Mommy and some yummy brownies too.

And next Saturday, the Dads are going to watch the kids so my sister, my mom, my grandma, and I can go shopping and out to lunch.  This month rocks!!!

Even without all the happy hullabaloo, the gift of being entrusted with the task of raising these two amazing kids is the best gift of all.  I truly believe moms have the best job in the world.   Happy Mother's Day!!!

Summer Home School

Some of my small group girls got to talking about summer plans and I opened my big mouth about how I wanted to do some thematic lessons with my kids.  Here's the link to my blog post where I first started brainstorming this idea (March 25th post).  Well, my small group ladies, knowing me the way that they do, knew I would be nerdy enough to have plans already drawn up and asked if I could share them.

All of the themes are not set in stone but this is how I was thinking I would keep us busy this summer (along with many trips to the pool, the zoo, small group, and the YMCA) and also keep us from watching too much TV.

Week of:	Theme	Mon	Tues	Wed	Thurs	Fri
May 31-June 4	Family	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
June 7-June 11	Safety	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
June 14-June 18	Money	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
June 21-June 25	VBS	Off	VBS	VBS	VBS	VBS
June 28-July 2	4th of July	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
July 5-July 9	Where I live	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
July 12-July 16	Vacation	Off	Off	Off	Off	Off
July 19-July 23	Health/Food	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
July 26-July 30	Exercise	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
August 2-August 6	Manners	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
August 9- August 13	Music	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
August 16- August 20	School	library	letters	pictures	numbers	outing
August 23	KINDERGARTEN STARTS!

I figure I'll spend about 30 minutes to 1 hour each day on the "lessons," except for the outing day which will of course take longer. Also, because I want to help Isaac get more prepared for Kindergarten, I have specific goals that I want to work on for each activity that I do:

Skills (In Italics)

Library Day: Check out and read books on the theme: Sight Words

Letter Day: Print out words related to the theme; have kids practice writing same words in their journals: Letter Recognition, Letter Sound Recognition

Picture Day: Print out pictures related to the theme for kids to color and glue in their journals: Holding Pencil Properly

Number Day: Use the theme to do some number skills: Adding/Subtracting, Counting (by 1’s, by 2’s, by 5’s, and by 10’s)

Of course, this plan is rated "high" in parent involvement so I definitely have time sets aside in the day for them to play independently.  Also this is a big disclaimer: just because I've drawn up the plans does not mean that I will follow through and actually do this to the end.  Please allow me wiggle room to decide it's not working!

All About Mommy

In honor of Mother's Day, here's a fun interview you can do with your kids to see what they think about you.  I did this last year with Isaac at age 3.5 and it was pretty entertaining.  This year I asked just Isaac again.  Next year, I'll include Abby's answers as well.

Here's what Isaac had to say about his mommy this year (Age 4.5):

1. What is something mommy always says to you?
I love you.

2. What makes mommy happy?
When I’m sharing my toys with Abby.

3. What makes mommy sad?
Not sharing with Abby.

4. How does your mommy make you laugh?
Tickle me.

5. What was your mommy like as a child?
I don’t know.

6. How old is your mommy?
Um…maybe 13 or 15.

7. How tall is your mommy?
20 or maybe 60.

8. What is her favorite thing to do?
Snuggle with me.

9. What does your mommy do when you're not around?
Take Abby to the YMCA or to the store.

10. If your mommy becomes famous, what will it be for?
I don’t know.

11. What is your mommy really good at?
Washing dishes.

12. What is your mommy not very good at?
Zelda video game.

13. What does your mommy do for her job?
I’m busy right now.

14. What is your mommy's favorite food?
Healthy food.

15. What makes you proud of your mommy?
These presents (referring to the activity books I just bought him).

16. If your mommy were a cartoon character, who would she be?
Princess Leia.

17. What do you and your mommy do together?
Snuggle and slip n’ slide.

18. How are you and your mommy the same?
We got brown hair and the same kind of skin.

19. How are you and your mommy different?
We like different things.  You like grown up movies and I like kid movies.

20. How do you know your mommy loves you?
‘Cause she hugs me.

21. Where is your mommy's favorite place to go?
To the zoo with me.

Weekend Getaway

My small group girls got away from it all this weekend at The Caroline House bed and breakfast, owned by Tara's mom in historic Montgomery.  After getting settled Friday night, we spent Saturday morning walking around the antique show that was in town for the weekend and the boutiques of historic Montgomery.

Charli and Susanna brought their precious little ones.

It was an otherwise kid-free weekend!

After the antique show, we took over a nail salon for pedicures.

After lunch we headed to Cork This wine bar where we did some tasting and maybe a few of us ordered a bottle or two.

My cousin Paul and his wife Bethany came and lead us in some beautiful worship that evening. Then our chefs, Jennifer and Tara cooked us up a gourmet feast.

Enjoying dinner at the B&B.

Nine happy mommas on the way out to lunch and then back home.

I came home to a little bit of drama and this sweet tribute to momma.

It was a perfect weekend of depth and giggles, late nights and quiet mornings.  Looking forward to the next small group retreat!  Now I'm listening to the Christian mix that Jen made and smelling the bath salts and soaps that Julie made for our take-home spa kits.  The peace continues!

Thanks Jen, Julie, Jennifer, and Tara for your planning and leadership this weekend!