About Adoption, Part 2

Last weekend we attended a Focus on the Family adoption conference.  Adoption is something we've been contemplating for some years now (see this blog entry for some personal history), though more in theory than practice.  At the conference, we got to hear personal stories, the good and the bad, from adults who had grown up as orphans, one who had been adopted and one who was never adopted and aged out of the "system."  We heard from several adoptive parents and administrators, and also from a grown woman who was a birth-child in a family that later decided to add to the family through adoption.

Enjoying lunch outdoors at the conference.

This conference was a big deal for us because it aligned our expectations with reality and to each other.  We made the decision at the end of the conference to turn in our "interest form."  This does not mean we are committed to adopting, it just means that we are interested enough to learn more about the process and to start on some of the steps and the paperwork.  I don't know if we will end up adopting a child or not.  The thought is at the same time exciting and scary.  I mean, my kids as they are now are so wonderful.  They are good listeners (for the most part, of course), and our family time is so sweet and calm (for the most part, of course) and special.  I feel like I've put in some hard years to get us to where we are today.  And I'm on the verge of gaining some of my freedom back with one child in school and the other set to start three-day-a-week preschool next fall.  I've definitely been fantasizing about what that newfound freedom might look like for me.  Our family as it is, and where it's headed, is a good thing!

Why would I want to mess with a good thing?  The answer is the same as the question.  We have a good thing going.  Our family is so blessed, and so happy, and so healthy.  And there are so many children in our state, our country, and the world who need families just like ours.  My heart is big for them and I feel like I'm willing to delay that personal freedom and perhaps release my grasp on our family dynamics as they currently stand, sweet as they are to me, so that we can grow our family in so many ways by becoming adoptive parents.  This is a lot to think about and we do not intend to rush into it lightly.  But as we learn more, and I feel in turn both scared and excited about the idea, I want to remind myself to be very conscious about appreciating our family as it is right now in this moment.  I love my kids so much and I want to appreciate every day with my two kids.

Because

 they are

 so 

 very 

 precious.

Now, to answer some of the most common questions we get when we bring up adoption with friends and family...

• We do not know for sure that we will adopt, but we are interested in pursuing it
• We would adopt locally rather than internationally; plenty of sweet kids who need homes here
• We're not sure about the foster-to-adopt program yet
• The age range we would look for would be older than 12 months (ideally older than 18 months) and younger than Abby (however old she is at the time)
• We do realize that adopting a child rather than an infant means that the child would come with a tragic history and we would have to deal with the repercussions of that history
• We have no race preference
• We have no gender preference, although it would be cool to have another boy since Isaac is the only boy among his sister and his three girl cousins
• We are not in a hurry for this to take place and leave the timeline in God's hands, although we intend to do our part to turn in our paper work and figure out if this is indeed what we want to do for our family

As always, we appreciate any prayers for wisdom, and any wisdom or experience that you may have to share with us.  

Lego Man

Isaac and Adel enjoyed an awesome father-son experience last weekend.  Actually, for this pair, there couldn't have been a better event.  Space Center Houston hosted a NASA themed Lego contest and my boys entered enthusiastically.  This is the card Adel made to explain the project they chose to build:

And here's the finished product:

And the proud designer:

They had a great time at the event, building Legos there, and stopping for a snack:

Although Isaac did not win the 1st, 2nd, or 3rd place he was hoping for, he won a medal for "Best Alternatively Fueled Project."

My first reaction to this prize was that they probably came up with a reason to give every kid a medal (so I'm a little jaded).  But Adel told me that there were probably 150 entries and only 20 prizes given, so that made me feel a little proud.  And then when I saw this video clip of Isaac answering the question "What kind of alternative fuel does your project use?"  He answered the question in front of the whole crowd of people and actually knew the correct answer.  Now that made me pretty proud!  By the way, the answer he gives is "solar rays" (solar arrays).  Super cute for a little smarty pants.  

I think it's very fitting that Isaac's first-ever medal is for building Legos.  That's what he does.  

Art Explosion

In the past couple weeks, Isaac has become very enamored with creating art.  Every day my desk gets inundated with a stack of creations that I need to admire, and then sort be their artistic value into a keeper and a non-keeper pile.  I can barely keep up.   So I decided it would be good to save some of my favorites on here rather than hardcopy.

Pumpkin

Wall-E and Eve

Zelda

Spider and Ants

Battle Scene

Evil Dr. Penguin.  Apparently the story behind this one, according to Isaac, is that people used to tease him because he had pink cheeks so he turned evil.  

And, I also wanted to commemorate Isaac's first-ever sentence spelled and written completely independently: 

 I guess he was inspired by what he learned at the "Good News Club," an after school Christian club.  It says "I am sre for mi sin forgiv me," translated: "I am sorry for my sin, forgive me."  The picture at the bottom is his sins (little sad faces?) being washed away.  Very deep.  Adel thinks it's a sad first sentence to write, but I think it's indicative that A. the child listens and understand big concepts and B. he is a very tender-hearted child.  And I guess it's an improvement in theology from Easter when he was three years old, when he announced that only he and Jesus never made any mistakes.  Guess he's finally discovered he is fallible.  :)

Whirlwind Days

I can honestly say that this Halloween weekend passed as a complete blur.  All things considered, I would say that's to be expected.  However, even with Mom in the hospital, we managed to find some time this weekend to practice some Halloween traditions with the kids (probably because when you are a parent, you still are there for your kids, no matter what is going on in your life, right?).  First of all we tried pumpkin carving.  But our pumpkins had been emptied out a few days too early and were a little too similar to sludge to be carved.

But the heroic "Uncle Delly" managed to find one pumpkin still stable enough to carve and the one child remaining who was interested in the process stayed to watch him finish the job.

And the finished product (which held up miraculously through Halloween night, only to be found in a sagging, mushy heap the next morning...at least the smell kept creeps away):

We also received a fun package from a dear friend of mine with popcorn balls and icing and candies for decorating them, jack-o-lanturn-style.

Needless to say, all five kids had a blast with this project.

On Halloween night, Dad and I had just gotten home from spending the afternoon in the ICU with Mom, and gobbled up some dinner, when we hastily got the kids dressed in costume for trick or treating.   Here we have an enthusiastic Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, and pirate, and a half-hearted crocodile (notice the clock, a la Captain Hook's nemesis). 

After making it through Halloween, we headed back to the hospital to be with Mom the next day.  Our thoughts have been there throughout everything and I just got the word that Mom is out of ICU (to a transitional room between ICU status and regular recovery room status, whatever that means).  I am glad to hear the doctor's feel she is ready for the move to a regular recovery room, because, even though I still have my own worries about her well-being, I trust that they know much better than I do.  

We started a blog soley for friends and family to get updates on her health status.  It's called "The Queen is In!"  Please feel free to check it throughout the day to see how she is doing.

I have returned home for the night and am super thankful for my uncle, Tom, who has come to stay with Dad.  I wouldn't have come home if he hadn't come.  I'm also thankful for my husband, who has picked up all the slack on the home front and totally rocks in every way, and for friends who have offered to bring us dinner and help with the kids.

Our friend who brought dinner tonight brought chili and so many options of fixin's that we were beyond excited to eat.

Abby and Isaac both had chili with hot dogs on the side.

Adel enjoyed a full-on chili dog (or two).

And I had the famed "Frito-pie" (which we had never heard of before moving to Texas, but is clearly a God-send in times of trouble...if you don't know what it is, you should move to Texas).   We have another friend bringing us dinner tomorrow night.  So thankful for good friends.

I feel very torn about being here.  On one hand, I am pretty worn out and a short break from the excitement will do me good.  On the other hand, I am trying to be ok with being so far away from my family.  I'll be heading back up there tomorrow night and will stay at least throughout the weekend.  Looking forward to a good night's sleep in my own bed.

Mimi Status Update

Friends, it's been a long day. Mom's surgery lasted seven hours, much longer than the predicted two-hour procedure we were expecting. When the surgeon finally came out to talk to us, she informed us that Mom's ovaries were not as enlarged as she expected and she was thinking that instead of ovarian cancer, this might be peritoneal cancer (if you click those words, it will take you to a good link that explains what that is).  Lab results are in the works which will confirm or deny her hunch.

The doctor also told us that the cancer was on the surface of pretty much every organ in the abdominal region, which is why the surgery took so long.  They removed all the cancerous cells from the surfaces of the tissues and organs and also removed the ovaries, the omentum, and two significant pieces of colon.  The surgeon had to call in a colon surgeon to help with that part and to make sure that the remaining parts of colon could be fit back together to function properly.  So this was a much more extensive procedure than we were all expecting.

Mom will be in ICU for several days before being moved to a regular recovery room.  She is currently stable, conscious, and breathing on her own.  We've even gotten a few humorous anecdotes from her in the few hours since she regained consciousness.

We were all extremely saddened to hear the news of how grim the situation was.  There was much hugging, praying, and crying.  But I must tell you all, and my sister and aunt both agree, that there has never yet been a moment when we have not felt completely at peace knowing that the situation is in God's hands.  He has been so good to bless us with an overwhelming sense of comfort and peace through the past few days and hours.  And we feel so loved by the encouragement and prayers of our loved ones.  It is wonderful to know, that when we grow weary of praying, there is an army out there praying on our behalf.

Please continue to pray for:

• The fused parts of colon to take and heal properly
• The abdominal organs to begin to function properly
• The cancer to be all removed
• Her spiritual, emotional, and physical healing (she still doesn't know of this difficult turn of events)

Over the next few days my family will be taking turns staying with Mom.  I'm on the home shift right now and I'm going to go to sleep after a long and trying day...sleeping in the comfort and strength of the arms of The Beloved.

Heading into the Valley, With Blessed Assurance

Last night I got the unexpected phone call from my parents telling me that they had just learned that my mom has ovarian cancer.  I knew she had been having some tummy troubles but I had no idea this was a possibility.  They said her cancer is probably at least a stage three (same as my dad's) and had already metastasized (spread).  This is not good news, but we are gearing up for another battle, not a defeat. 

Surprisingly, I did not feel scared or panicked when I heard the news.  I think this was partially because I have been through a cancer battle with my dad and I feel much better equipped to handle it this time.  But I also felt that God was actively blessing me with a sense of peace, reassuring me that His hand is in this and He is in control.  I heard, shortly after that, from my mom's sister and my own sister, who shared their own sense of peace in the Lord over this situation.  My sister and my aunt are two of the most faithful believers in Christ that I know.  I find it awesome that all three of us who are among the closest to my mom in all the world, would feel such reassuring peace at hearing such potentially devastating news.  It's like our most trusted Guide and Friend came to comfort and encourage us as we were told that He would be navigating us through a difficult valley.  There's nothing that inspires confidence like the assurance that the beloved Guide will be with you, holding your hand along the journey.

After a good night's sleep, that knowing my tendency for insomnia when under any stress whatsoever had to be another of God's blessings, I woke up feeling sad for my mom and the awful battle she is going to have to endure.  But the Lord had more blessings of assurance planned for me.  As I reached for my ipod and checked my email, a dear friend had sent some comforting verses to me that were the first words that reached me this morning:

Psalm 22:24  --  For He has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; He has not hidden His face from Him but has listened to his cry for help.

Psalm 34:18 --  The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

And then I decided to listen to some music while I did my workout this morning.  The words to Fernando Ortega's song "Hear Me Calling, Great Redeemer," blew me out of the water:

As I walk, Lord, Through the valley,
Hold my hand, Hold my trembling hand.
If I stumble by the wayside,
In Your strength help me stand.

The sparks fly upward while the wind blows
Like a spirit, Lost upon the sea.
I am torn, Lord, And born to trouble.
I am blind and I am weak.

Hear me calling, Great Redeemer,
At the foot of Your dark cross
Where You suffered for the sinner,
Bleeding, Dying, For the lost.

Go before me through the valley,
Speak to me, For I know Your voice.
Lead me homeward, Gentle Shepherd,
God of Love, God of Grace.

And as I exercised, blinking back tears and praising the Lord for His goodness in all situations and thanking Him for the encouragement I get from other faithful believers who write songs and send scriptures and share their love and their prayers with me, this scripture came to mind:  After Hebrews 11 lays out the famous Bible stories of the great faith of the men and women who have gone before us, Hebrews 12:1 offers this encouragement to those of us still on the journey --"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us."  I wanted to come home and record these beautiful, reassuring thoughts for two reasons: 1. So that, when this journey gets difficult, as I know it will, I will have the reassurance of remembering God's amazing faithfulness to me and my family.  And 2.  So that, one day, I might be counted among "such a great cloud of witnesses" to God's love and faithfulness.  

I am certain of many things, but right now chief among them is that we love our Mimi so much and that God is with us in this valley.

Little Mermaid

I had some misgivings about posting this video of Abby singing in the bathtub but I really tried to keep just her little face in the screen.  And it's "Little Mermaid" sung from the bath, so what could be better?  I'll tell you what: A three year old singing her heart out without really knowing the words.  Pretty funny.  :)

Karate Kid? Perhaps Not.

Other than swim lessons, we have not signed Isaac up for any sport or activity until now.   For the past month-and-a-half he has been attending a weekly karate class.  He was super excited to start and looks stinkin' cute in his uniform:

After the first few classes, the students started sparring.  This is when we discovered that Isaac was perhaps not ready for this particular karate class.  The class is very fast-paced, overcrowded, and not well organized and, as we discovered while watching him spar, he really still has no idea what he's doing even after 6 hour-long lessons.   This is a video clip we took of him sparring with another boy his size.  Not only are they not using any actual karate skills that were taught in the class, but they are also not even close enough to hit each other even if they tried (and they did!).  They maintained a safe distance of about five feet apart, and while bouncing around, kicking, and flailing at will, they resembled a pair of uncoordinated dancers, rather than trained martial arts students.  Isaac is the one closest to the camera:

Still if nothing else, this moment was good for a laugh (the entire row of parents was watching and stifling laughter during this sparring session) and he had fun while it lasted.   We decided to remove him from the class until he's a little older and can follow the fast pace of this slightly unorganized  karate class.

Cookie Class

Last month Abby really enjoyed the cookie class at the YMCA.  This month they didn't have enough kids sign up for the class (and we wouldn't have signed her up anyway...not in the budget for this month).  So our awesome friend Jennifer, who happens to be the teacher of the YMCA cookie class, offered to come help us make cookies here at my house.  So Abby and her two bestie-best friends got to decorate cookies together.

First Decorating...

Then eating...

One little brother got in on the action

The other only dreamed some big cookie dreams.

Can't you just hear him thinking, "If only I were three inches taller!"

Thanks friends, for the great morning!  I feel so blessed to have friends that I love and our kids love each other too.  God is good.

Creative License

If you've known me for a while or read this blog a few times, you'll know that from time to time I get inspired with creativity.  Usually this culminates in a carefully crafted project for my me and my kids to complete.  Well, last Halloween, Isaac and I created a fun, cheap, and easy door monster:

So this year I wanted to decorate the door again, but I thought instead of a monster, we'll make a pumpkin patch.  We had made construction paper pumpkins before and it was pretty simple.  I precut the pumpkin shapes and the green tops and let the kids cut black scraps to arrange and glue as eyes, nose and mouth.  I was picturing a bunch of pumpkins that look somewhat similar to this, but with each child's creative flair:

My kids, however, apparently have their own creative inspiration (is that allowed?!?) and their vision of pumpkins was not at all what mine had been.   So instead, I got this:

And this:

And this:

I must confess, it was rather hard for me to allow my kids the freedom of their own creativity.  After all, I had a plan, did I not? And, after guiding their craftiness from their first creative attempts toward something that actually resembled pumpkins, I actually had a hard time honoring their creations by displaying them among the other pumpkins in the patch.  But then I thought, "what kind of psycho-controlling mom would I be to have my supposedly kid-created pumpkin patch on display without letting my kids' creativity shine through?"  So, with great deliberateness, I let the kids decorate the door as they imagined with their own creativity:

And the end result is this:

Perhaps not the most picturesque or typical of pumpkin patches.  But, after all, from a creative point of view, I guess typical can be pretty boring.

PS, my dog has been a little high-strung since we hung up the pumpkin patch. You see, every time she passes by the door, she sees this:

And she thinks someone is at the door.  Bitsy believes that her sole purpose on this earth is to bark when people are at the door so she has been barking ALL DAY LONG.  It was pretty funny at first, but it's slowly growing old.  :)