About Adoption, Part 2

Last weekend we attended a Focus on the Family adoption conference.  Adoption is something we've been contemplating for some years now (see this blog entry for some personal history), though more in theory than practice.  At the conference, we got to hear personal stories, the good and the bad, from adults who had grown up as orphans, one who had been adopted and one who was never adopted and aged out of the "system."  We heard from several adoptive parents and administrators, and also from a grown woman who was a birth-child in a family that later decided to add to the family through adoption.

Enjoying lunch outdoors at the conference.

This conference was a big deal for us because it aligned our expectations with reality and to each other.  We made the decision at the end of the conference to turn in our "interest form."  This does not mean we are committed to adopting, it just means that we are interested enough to learn more about the process and to start on some of the steps and the paperwork.  I don't know if we will end up adopting a child or not.  The thought is at the same time exciting and scary.  I mean, my kids as they are now are so wonderful.  They are good listeners (for the most part, of course), and our family time is so sweet and calm (for the most part, of course) and special.  I feel like I've put in some hard years to get us to where we are today.  And I'm on the verge of gaining some of my freedom back with one child in school and the other set to start three-day-a-week preschool next fall.  I've definitely been fantasizing about what that newfound freedom might look like for me.  Our family as it is, and where it's headed, is a good thing!

Why would I want to mess with a good thing?  The answer is the same as the question.  We have a good thing going.  Our family is so blessed, and so happy, and so healthy.  And there are so many children in our state, our country, and the world who need families just like ours.  My heart is big for them and I feel like I'm willing to delay that personal freedom and perhaps release my grasp on our family dynamics as they currently stand, sweet as they are to me, so that we can grow our family in so many ways by becoming adoptive parents.  This is a lot to think about and we do not intend to rush into it lightly.  But as we learn more, and I feel in turn both scared and excited about the idea, I want to remind myself to be very conscious about appreciating our family as it is right now in this moment.  I love my kids so much and I want to appreciate every day with my two kids.

Because

 they are

 so 

 very 

 precious.

Now, to answer some of the most common questions we get when we bring up adoption with friends and family...

• We do not know for sure that we will adopt, but we are interested in pursuing it
• We would adopt locally rather than internationally; plenty of sweet kids who need homes here
• We're not sure about the foster-to-adopt program yet
• The age range we would look for would be older than 12 months (ideally older than 18 months) and younger than Abby (however old she is at the time)
• We do realize that adopting a child rather than an infant means that the child would come with a tragic history and we would have to deal with the repercussions of that history
• We have no race preference
• We have no gender preference, although it would be cool to have another boy since Isaac is the only boy among his sister and his three girl cousins
• We are not in a hurry for this to take place and leave the timeline in God's hands, although we intend to do our part to turn in our paper work and figure out if this is indeed what we want to do for our family

As always, we appreciate any prayers for wisdom, and any wisdom or experience that you may have to share with us.