Apple Critters

For our family night last night (#12), we made Apple Critters.  It's something I used to do in elementary school when I would come home from school and want a snack.  Of course, I couldn't just make a snack like a normal kid; I had to play with my food.  Now I'm teaching my kids to do it too.

The supplies: apples, toothpicks, marshmallows,

chocolate chips, and a ziplock bag with the

tip cut off one corner and filled with peanut butter.

I made a sample for my kids and then gave them the supplies to get to work on their own Apple Critters.  With toothpicks involved, this is not an activity I would walk away from with the kids being so little still.

Isaac at work creating.

Abby creating.

Momma helping Isaac squeeze the PB on his apple as "glue" for the choc.chip eyes.

The finished products (Abby's has the crazy hair and Isaac's is a five-eyed alien).

Time to eat!

Abby even had a few bites of the apple (Isaac bolted after the last marshmallow was eaten)!

_______The Prayers of my Sisters

Sometimes the power of prayer, in the hands of my sisters, becomes so relevant and obvious to me.

There was one time in particular this past year when I was experiencing a puzzling and repetitive anxiety over the same issue.  I finally decided that I needed to humble myself and let some of my spiritual sisters know what I was struggling with.  I sent out an email summarizing my issue and then began to work on my reading for my small group.  A few minutes later, I felt a sense of peace settling in on me, as if it drifted down like a blanket from heaven.  I knew, just knew, that one of my girlfriends had gotten my email and was praying for me right then. So confident was I in this that I didn't even bother to interrupt my reading to check my email inbox.  I just noted the time, said a prayer of thanks, and told myself that I would check my inbox after I finished my reading to confirm what I believed.

Sure enough, the time on the email in my inbox matched the time I noted on my clock when I felt the peace settle in on my heart.  One of my dearest friends from college had received my email, prayed for me, and then sent me an email of encouragement.  I was not surprised at all to see her reply in my inbox.  She had prayed out of love for me and God had responded to that heartfelt prayer.  It doesn't always work that way.  But sometimes it does.  And when you get to see God at work, and connect the pieces, it is humbling and touching that He cares enough to intervene in our daily lives through the power of prayer.

I experienced something similar this week.  I had set up a phone conference to a woman who I consider a mentor of mine in that she has been in women's ministry for many years and has always encouraged me to lead, to write, and to grow.  I wanted to talk to her about how she got started in her ministry because that is what I feel  I want to do with myself right now too.  We talked for a while, swapped stories, caught up on life details, and then she offered to pray for me.

Specifically, she prayed that the church who had expressed interest in having me come to talk would contact me. "Even today, Lord," she prayed with such confidence that it surprised me.  How could she pray so confidently for something that God might just as well say "no" to?  My prayers tend to be less direct: "If it's Your will, Lord."  However, after hearing her prayer, I have to say that I was waiting in expectation for someone from the church to contact me.  I checked my email a few times.  Nothing was happening there.  So I started early preparing dinner.  That's when the phone rang.  When the caller ID did not identify a name to match the number, I practically could have answered the phone saying, "Hi!  I was expecting you to call!"  It was one of the ladies in charge of women's ministry at the church in question.

How I love, love, love to see God working through the lives of everyday women, who love each other and lift each other up in prayer.  Keep praying for your girlfriends and be waiting with expectation for God to move and work among you!

_______Healing and Hope

Boppa had his last chemo session this week!  He rang the bell, to the applause of the other cancer patients nearby, announcing that he is finished and moving on.  Typically he feels the worst two days after he gets the chemo, which would be today.  In the days that follow, he starts to feel better and better until his next chemo treatment, when the cycle starts again.  And each cycle gets progressively harder on his body than the first.  While the rest of us have periodically wept and floundered around him, Boppa, like a soldier, has stoically endured every moment of feeling bad, knowing that it was necessary to win the battle.  He has faced:

• Fatigue
• Hair loss
• Loss of taste and smell
• Incessantly watery eyes and dripping nose
• Bad, overpowering metalic taste in mouth at all times

Many people have experienced an illness in the family before and know what it feels like to see someone you love get weaker and sicker as the weeks go by.  In my dad's case, we knew that the weakness and sickness were for a good cause: so that his body could be rid of the cancer.  But even knowing that did not make it easy to see him feeling crummy day after day.  After all, he's my dad.

Mom and Dad when they were carefree teenagers in love

(aren't they adorable?!)

Dad the day I was born

When I was a kid, all the neighborhood boys used to be scared of my dad because he was so big.  And he kept all the kids busy with games of baseball and water fights.  If anyone in the world was to be invincible, in my mind it would have been my dad.  When he came home from work, I would run to greet him and literally jump on him.  But I remember well the day when he told me I was too big to do that anymore.  He was strong, but not without limitations.

I'm probably about 13 in this picture (just guessing by the attitude)

In college, when I picked up Mom and Dad from the airport after not seeing them for half a year, I remember a feeling of sadness and shock at seeing some new gray in my dad's brown hair.  He had always been so young and healthy, and I never pictured him getting old.  And yet, there was the proof, sprinkled into his hair.

Mom and Dad the year I moved off to college (don't they look relieved?)

And now that he has been laid low for the first time, I am thankful beyond description that he has every chance of being healthy again for a long time to come.  Ours is not a devastating story of loss, but one of healing and hope!  However, the experience has forced me to admit that even my dad is not stronger than death.  I have lived a very sheltered life, experiencing very little loss or grief.  I have always known my turn would come (I'm not being pessimistic, here, it's just a reality from which I have so far been spared) and I have wondered if I would be able to hold firm to what I believe in the face of it.

Dad at the beginning of the chemo treatments (June this year) before his hair fell out.  He felt awful this day but was still trying to play with Isaac.

When we first found out my dad had cancer and the doctors were less than optimistic about his chances, I was forced for a few days to stare face to face into the prospects of a future I was hoping never to experience.  And, although I felt frightened, and numb, and sad, I clung tightly to the promise that God is in control and ultimately has our best interests at heart.  Sometimes it's hard to see that in the face of a challenge.  As the pastor at our church is fond of saying, "God is more concerned with our character than our comfort."  Although I knew it would be hard to see my dad get sick, in the light of eternity, I found some comfort knowing that God was at work in us all the while.

"Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."  (Romans 5:3-5)

And no matter how hard I imagined it could get in those first few days of not knowing, I comforted myself that, although God does allow trials in our life, He does so with the promise of walking beside us along the way:

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.  When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you.  For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior..."  (Isaiah 43:2-3a)

I am thankful beyond description that God has given us just a small season of suffering.  He has mercifually allowed our characters to grow with baby steps these past few months.  And Dad has been able to keep working this whole time and even exercising when he felt well enough.  On the whole, this experience has been much easier than we first feared.  But I pray that we will not forget what it felt like to trust in God beyond our own understanding.

Dad in October at the breastcancer walk in downtown Houston.

And today, with my dad's last chemo treatment completed, he will have his last worst day. After today, he will start to feel better and better without having to repeat the cycle!  His body and his immune system will begin to heal and grow stronger. I am excited for my dad to be able to taste food again!  For half a year, he has eaten without any taste other than that awful metal.  I am excited for him to lose the watery eyes and the dripping nose.  I don't care too much about whether he gets back his hair again...I think he's handsome either way!  But I am excited for him to feel well enough to play with his grandkids again!  I'm excited that he will be healthy enough to hug and kiss them again too!  I'm thankful that we get to have our Boppa back!

More Boppa stories are yet to come.  As I said, ours is a story of healing and hope.  We love you, Boppa!

_______Networking

I cannot believe what I did yesterday.  I said I was going to do it, I just can't believe I actually did.

The first part was safe and easy.  I just made myself some business cards:

Then I got myself and Abby ready to go and we drove over to Nana's Attic, an adorable miscellaneous boutique in League City where I had gone with DD, Mimi, and Abby on our girls' day last week (we had a "tea party" at the Holly Berry Tea Room two stores down).  When we were shopping in Nana's Attic a week ago, I noticed in one corner a shelf with several books, many of which were "mom" themed.  So I asked the owner if I could bring my book by for her to take a look at to see if she could sell it there.

And yesterday, as I walked into the store, I had a mild case of butterflies in my stomach.  What was I thinking?  Who is going to possibly want to sell my book?  But I knew I would never forgive myself if I didn't follow through and so I approached the owner with a smile.  She graciously took EveryMom and told me she would get reading.  She couldn't have been more kind and, whether or not she choses to sell my book, I hope everyone local who reads this will head over there to see what cute products she has (I especially like her cooking aprons and handbags).

After that I headed down the street to Mardel Christian Book Store.  I walked in hoping to get the same kind of reception as I did at Nana's Attic, but the florescent lights and warehouse feel gave me a clue that something was amiss, and I adopted a more formal tone than I had previously.  As the manager approached, I reached out my hand, which she begrudgingly took and then proceeded to wipe off on her shirt as if I had given her cooties.  I asked her about the process or possibility of getting my book on the shelves there.  She gruffly replied, barely letting the question mark settle on my question, that only "corporate office" could make that kind of decision.

Then I realized my folly.  I, ignorantly, had not connected the fact that Mardel is a national chain (I don't shop much, remember?).  For me to try to enter a Mardel store to see if they would sell my book would be like a self-employed seamstress walking into JC Penny's to ask the sales clerk if she would sell her homemade aprons.  It just doesn't work that way.  So, once again, I find I have so much to learn about this business.  And I am learning (often the hard way).  From now on I will try to focus only on local shops and church bookstores.

(Still, that manager could have been a little more kind, right?  Oh well.  As I learned in The Search for Significance, everybody has issues...I just don't need to take her issue on me and make it mine.  So, I thanked her for her advice and then asked her to look up a book for me...tee hee...before I left to pick up Isaac.)

And then, yesterday afternoon, I received THE PHONE CALL.  It was the Pastor at my dad's church.  My dad had given her a copy of EveryMom and she was calling to set up a lunch meeting to discuss the possibility of me being a speaker at a church women's event in the fall.  The way she worded it was, "I'm thinking about creating an event around your talk."  Talk about excitement!  Talk about breaking out into a cold sweat!

Okay, God, I asked for this.  Now please HELP me see it through!

Taste Test

Last night we had our family night (#11).  According to my cousin Robin's instructions, I assembled a plate of bitter, sour, salty, and sweet foods.  The rule was, everyone had to taste everything.  If you liked it, you could eat as much as you wanted.  The kids did a fantastic job tasting everything.

Before we ate, we talked about how we were going to try foods from four different taste groups.  We started with bitter.  That's cold coffee, steamed broccoli, walnuts, and unsweetened chocolate.

Abby couldn't wait to get her hands on that chocolate.  I felt a little cruel, but I did warn her that it wasn't sweet like she was used to.  She sucked on a huge hunk happily (to our surprise) for an entire minute.

Then, as the taste slowly sank in, she learned the meaning of bitter.

Poor baby!  We hurried on to the sour plate.  That's grapefruit, an orange pixie stick, pineapple puree, and vinegar (wish I had a lemon!).

Isaac was a champ tasting the vinegar.

When I pulled out the salty plate, I knew they would like it.  That's pistachios, pretzels, tortilla chips, bacon, and salted boiled eggs.

Abby happily ate several eggs.

Isaac enjoyed chomping the bacon.

And, of course, no one complained when I brought out the sweet plate (even though we started with carrots!).  Besides, carrots, that's sweet corn, banana, semi-sweet chocolate, and pop tarts.

Not much of a meal, but what a great family night!

_______Incentives

We've been trying to break Isaac of a bad habit, similar to thumb-sucking, since he turned one.  I've tried just about every suggestion offered to me with no avail...until now.

Isaac is on day 6 of breaking the habit.  Although I tried an incentive plan just after his fourth birthday, he decided the habit was just not worth giving up.  This time, I upped the stakes and to my surprise, it seems to be working!  Just to kick-start our new habit-free program, we went to the dollar store and I let him pick out a week's worth of prizes.  He gets one every day that he remains habit-free. Then I came up with a long term goal (for when the week is up and the prizes are out).  Now that he has proven he can survive without his beloved comfort habit, I told him that if he makes it 30 days, he can pick out a pack of Legos.

Well, my son, the Lego enthusiast, has had his sights set on the Endor Battle set of Legos since his fourth birthday.  That's the one he wants.


But it costs $99!  So, I told him that we would have to have a budget for his Lego prize.  The industrious boy counter-offered: "If I make it to NINETY days can I have the Endor Battle set?"  Hmmm, it's a huge amount to pay for an "incentive."  On the other hand, if he makes it to the end of ninety days, he will be learning a great lesson in delayed gratification and passing on a smaller pleasure to hold out for something even better.  So, we agreed.

Then, at Mimi's suggestion, we created this ninety-link paper chain to begin the daily count down.

I'm not sure if he'll make it to ninety days.  He may relent and chose the smaller Lego set once he gets to the end of the first thirty days.  But, either way, here's to hoping this is the end of the bad habit for good!

_______Nesting Instinct

Girls, I've got it bad.  I am aching to nest.  And I'm not talking about wanting to have a baby.  What I mean is, I've got an itch to decorate.  I think (and I'm totally just speculating here) that women have this desire to nest, whether or not they're pregnant.  Pregnancy just gives us this awesome excuse to go shopping and make our husbands paint and build things.  I honestly think that women periodically need to redecorate or else they just might die.

At the end of this month, we will have lived in this house for three years.  I have never lived anywhere for that long in my adult life.  What that means is, I have always had the opportunity to nest every year or two with each new home we moved into, thus fulfilling my innate need to decorate and arrange furniture.  Well, since we really love our house and our neighborhood and have no intention of moving any time soon, I'm starting to feel downright antsy for some aesthetic changes around here.  Our downstairs furniture hasn't moved an inch since we set it down three years ago.  I need change!

The only problem is that we are operating within the same budget we have been for the past three years:
10% back to God
98% house
2% food

That doesn't leave a lot of room for buying furniture.  So, I'm trying to think creatively.  Inspired by my friend Tara, whose house looks like an ad for Pottery Barn and who has the best decorating taste I've ever seen, I'm considering swapping the furniture in my TV room and formal dining room.  By my mom's suggestion, I'm also considering swapping the couches in my living room and TV room, which, admittedly, would be a lot easier.  Both, of course, would require the purchase of some accessories and decorative accents.  I have had numerous conversations with friends and family, seeking their opinions.  I have even dragged in people off the street to ask them if they think it will work (okay, not really, but if you are unfortunate enough to be invited into my house in the near future, you will probably end up looking at graph paper and pondering the purpose of the TV nook).

And the reason I've been unusually silent in the blogoshere these past few days, is because I have been out shopping.  I am really not a shopper.  I'm a buyer.  If I can't buy something, I don't really see the point in going shopping.  And since I can almost never buy anything (see budget above), I don't shop much.  But I have been furiously pricing furniture these past few days so that I can formulate a game plan.

If nothing else, even if I don't actually buy anything, this new shopping education of mine may come in handy for convincing Adel to help me rearrange the furniture: "Well, we could give the room-swap a try, which would be hard work but FREE, or we could buy a new sectional for the TV room for roughly $1,300."

It just might work.

(And Tara, if you read this, I need your advice!)

Freezing Fun

Yesterday, as we were driving down the road in our neighborhood we noticed the fountain had large icicles forming.  Now, for you folks who live in places that get actual seasons, this is not going to sound very exciting.  But here in Houston we have only two seasons: 1. the hot and muggy season and 2. the not hot or muggy season.  So, being the cool and adventurous mom that I am (also rash and sometimes stupid), I pulled over and plucked an icicle off for each of my kids, which they proceeded to eat before I realized that it probably is not filtered water!  (If they get amoebic dysentery you'll know why!)

Anyway, the moment gave me an idea for last night, when temperatures were to hit below freezing (very rare here).  So the kids and I did a science experiment befitting the season-deprived status we hold.

First we pulled out some paper cups from the pantry and put the kids initials on them:

Then we put a small toy in each cup:

We filled each cup with water:

Added food coloring (just for fun) and set them outside to freeze overnight:

This morning, we woke up to 12 frozen cups o' fun:

And what better place to play with them than the bathtub?  (after removing the paper cup!):

It's going to get below freezing again overnight, if you want to try it (and if you'd rather avoid the chance of staining anything, you can skip the food coloring part...but color makes everything more fun).

***PS: after the second year of doing this activity, we learned a good lesson in volume: don't use too much water in the cups or it won't freeze.  Dixie cup size is great, especially when filled only halfway.  

_______About Adoption

After we had Isaac I realized how much love and energy it takes to raise a child.  I loved Isaac so much and it just killed me to think that there were kids out there who didn't have that kind of commitment and love.  So Adel and I began to talk about the idea of adoption during those first few months of parenthood over four years ago.  After we had Abby I knew for sure I did not want to go through pregnancy and the newborn stage again.  I was completely overwhelmed at having a toddler and a newborn.  The months passed and things slowly got easier juggling both kids but my resolve to not get pregnant again remained steady (and still does today...God willing!).  However, my longing to bring another child into my home and love them like I love my own two children has not wavered even a little bit.  In fact, as months pass and my days with my kids get more and more pleasant and easy, I am really starting to want to move forward in learning about adoption.

I can't say for sure that adoption is right for us.  What I do know is that it has been on my heart for over four years.  Any time I hear an adoption story, or a story of the pain unloved children suffer, my heart is moved to help.  I just know that it is for me.  Adel, typically far less emotional than me, is open to the idea of adopting but he is cautious about the details.  Like any good father, he is concerned about the costs and whether he can provide for another child, especially with all the expenses of adopting.  But he is far too busy with work and the three of us at home to pursue it.  So it is up to me to research everything and present my findings to him.  He needs something solid and factual that he can actually work with.  Once we have some idea of what this is going to involve, he will have to decide whether he is ready to commit to it or not.  Since we have two kids already (and they're still pretty little), we are not in a hurry to adopt, but I would like to get started on learning more about it.  I hope we can make a decision on whether to move forward or not by the end of this year.

I would love to hear stories or suggestions from any of you as we learn about adoption in the months to come.

_______Joy in Motherhood

I have been having such a wonderful time with Abby this school year, with Isaac being in preschool three days a week.  She is so content just to be with me and tag along with whatever I have planned for the day.  And, although she can put up quite a fight when she has competition, when it's one-on-one time, I've never seen a sweeter girl.  Today the two of us enjoyed a special meal out-on-the town at the conclusion of our errands and next week we are going out for "high tea" with Mimi.  These are things I never would have done with Isaac at this age.

It's kind of not fair to poor Isaac.  I had Abby when he was under two years old and not exactly easy-going.  With no other adult help, I would never have attempted a meal out with him anywhere other than McDonalds (and then only when desperate).  He was so squirmy and fussy.  And even when he started to slow down as he approached the age of three, he never got the quality one-on-one time with me that Abby now enjoys.

It makes me think of my entry in "EveryMom" where I talked about my friend Kristie who was sad to see her daughter growing older, while I couldn't wait to have Abby grow from a baby to a toddler so that my two kids would be easier to care for.  Here's the excerpt (it comes just after I described how I had been longing for Abby to turn one so my life would get easier):

"And that is why, when my friend Kristie asked me if I am sad about Abby turning one, I nearly choked on my cupcake.  I wanted to shout with glee, “Are you kidding?  I’ve been waiting for this moment all year!”  However, prompted by Kristie’s sincere expression, I toned down my response.  I told her the truth: that I mostly feel relief to have made it this far and I’m sure the sadness will come much later when it’s all behind me.  Someday I’ll miss my kids being in the prime of their snuggly infancies.  But right now I am just beginning to feel liberation from my year-long effort to arise from every challenging moment with a little bit of grace. 
       Looking into Kristie's earnest eyes, I can see that we are mothers who have been undertaking two very different journeys.  Kristie appears to have truly taken joy in every moment with her daughter.  I am a little envious of that.  It seems like that is how motherhood should be.  For me, motherhood this past year has required a tremendous effort and joy has not always been the first emotion to spring to mind!  (Although it should have been!)"

So, what I want to say now, to Kristie, and any other mom who has known what it's like to really get time to enjoy being a mom is: I get it now! Sometimes I look at Abby when it's just the two of us and I simply melt, the way you do when your kids are asleep because they're so innocent and precious.  

And now, for the first time in my mothering journey, I'm truly understanding what it's like to JOY in motherhood.  To top it all off, even my Isaac is getting more one-on-one time with Mommy these days.  After I cuddle Abby down for her nap, Isaac and I creep downstairs to read a book and snuggle. Sometimes we nap, sometimes we just rest, but it's precious time because there's no competition.  I am thankful for the journey that has brought me to love motherhood more than ever before.

_______New Year's Tradition

I've already posted briefly about this, but since we're going to try this for the first time tonight, I thought I would review it.  I found an online article where Dr. Dobson (from Focus on the Family) talks about the tradition he has his family use to keep the spirit of Christmas in their home after the season has passed. If you sent us a card, know that we'll be praying for you in the weeks to come!  (Although, we'll only be doing one or two a night because that is the attention span of our children!)




Question: Once Christmas Day has arrived and the presents have been opened, my children always seem to be disappointed. They’re not ungrateful or bratty, but I’m curious if you have any suggestions on how to beat the “post-holiday blues”?
Dr. Dobson: For children and many adults, anticipation is all too often greater than realization. Our kids were no different. The happy days of Christmas came and went so quickly that my wife and I always sought a way to hold on to the pleasure a while longer. We developed a custom of saving our Christmas cards that came from friends and loved ones far and wide, and after New Year’s Day, we’d put them on a tray near the dinner table. Every night we selected four cards, one for each family member, and we read them and the enclosed letters. We then prayed for those families around our table. This tradition can take months to complete, depending on the number of cards received. With the busy days of Christmas behind us, we could better enjoy the beauty of the cards, and absorb the meaningful verses and personal notes.
The Christmas traditions that we developed through the years were not unique to the Dobson household. But they were extremely meaningful to each member of our family. These activities served to emphasize the two vitally important themes that embody the Christmas spirit: celebration of Jesus’ birth and life, and celebration of love for one another and for the entire human family.

_______2010

I'm really excited for this new year.  I've always been one to have more excitement for the future than nostalgia for the past.  There's not a single year of my life so far that I would trade for the prospects and opportunities of this year to come.  I love to see what God has in store.  Bring it on!

While I tend to avoid resolutions because I'm way too flaky to keep them, I do have many plans and hopes for 2010.  Some of these expectations are out of my control and will happen without any input from me.  The rest are sort of a to-do list of the things I would like to accomplish before the year is up.



In 2010, I would like to:

• Continue my small group for moms (I love it!)
• Celebrate living in this house for three years (the longest we've lived anywhere since we've been married and my life-time average)
• See if I can talk Adel into rearranging the furniture (beats moving!)
• See my dad become cancer-free!
• Make an attempt to promote my books at Christian bookstores and local churches
• Make a video of my grandparents, interviewing them about all the interesting experiences in their lives
• Celebrate Abby's third birthday!
• Learn everything I can about local adoption
• Come up with a new book topic that I feel inspired to write
• Plan a great get-away for Adel and I to celebrate our eighth anniversary
• Continue my attempts at new recipes and family nights
• Finally contact that life insurance company I signed up with when I was a teacher and get my money (what little there is) out of there (I've been putting this off for a few years now)
• Celebrate Isaac's fifth birthday!
• Help Isaac adjust to Kindergarten!
• Decide whether I want to take on a part-time job once Isaac is in school full-time
• Run a 10K with Jen