_______Joy in Motherhood

I have been having such a wonderful time with Abby this school year, with Isaac being in preschool three days a week.  She is so content just to be with me and tag along with whatever I have planned for the day.  And, although she can put up quite a fight when she has competition, when it's one-on-one time, I've never seen a sweeter girl.  Today the two of us enjoyed a special meal out-on-the town at the conclusion of our errands and next week we are going out for "high tea" with Mimi.  These are things I never would have done with Isaac at this age.

It's kind of not fair to poor Isaac.  I had Abby when he was under two years old and not exactly easy-going.  With no other adult help, I would never have attempted a meal out with him anywhere other than McDonalds (and then only when desperate).  He was so squirmy and fussy.  And even when he started to slow down as he approached the age of three, he never got the quality one-on-one time with me that Abby now enjoys.

It makes me think of my entry in "EveryMom" where I talked about my friend Kristie who was sad to see her daughter growing older, while I couldn't wait to have Abby grow from a baby to a toddler so that my two kids would be easier to care for.  Here's the excerpt (it comes just after I described how I had been longing for Abby to turn one so my life would get easier):

"And that is why, when my friend Kristie asked me if I am sad about Abby turning one, I nearly choked on my cupcake.  I wanted to shout with glee, “Are you kidding?  I’ve been waiting for this moment all year!”  However, prompted by Kristie’s sincere expression, I toned down my response.  I told her the truth: that I mostly feel relief to have made it this far and I’m sure the sadness will come much later when it’s all behind me.  Someday I’ll miss my kids being in the prime of their snuggly infancies.  But right now I am just beginning to feel liberation from my year-long effort to arise from every challenging moment with a little bit of grace. 
       Looking into Kristie's earnest eyes, I can see that we are mothers who have been undertaking two very different journeys.  Kristie appears to have truly taken joy in every moment with her daughter.  I am a little envious of that.  It seems like that is how motherhood should be.  For me, motherhood this past year has required a tremendous effort and joy has not always been the first emotion to spring to mind!  (Although it should have been!)"

So, what I want to say now, to Kristie, and any other mom who has known what it's like to really get time to enjoy being a mom is: I get it now! Sometimes I look at Abby when it's just the two of us and I simply melt, the way you do when your kids are asleep because they're so innocent and precious.  

And now, for the first time in my mothering journey, I'm truly understanding what it's like to JOY in motherhood.  To top it all off, even my Isaac is getting more one-on-one time with Mommy these days.  After I cuddle Abby down for her nap, Isaac and I creep downstairs to read a book and snuggle. Sometimes we nap, sometimes we just rest, but it's precious time because there's no competition.  I am thankful for the journey that has brought me to love motherhood more than ever before.