A New (Old) Direction (Again)

It started with the phone call from my Dad's church.  The pastor, having read parts of EveryMom, wanted to set up an opportunity for me to come talk to the women of her church.  I was immediately terrified but mostly excited for the awesome opportunity and right away I began to plan what I would say.  I saw the door open for this opportunity and I began to wonder if the was The Door opening for me, The Door that would launch my career in women's ministry.

The thought thrilled me.  I have had a heart for women's ministry since I first became a stay-at-home mom.  Since I've been through my own journey, learned so much, had my own struggles, I have wanted in so many ways to help provide guidance and resources for other women going through the same journey.

I have written two books with this in mind.  I have started this blog that I hope will one day be a tool for other women to grow along with me.  I have sent a proposal for a creative women's ministry idea to my church, which currently has no women's ministry, volunteering to lead and organize if needed.  And I have prayed for opportunities to lead women through motherhood to growing as followers of Christ.  Once I got that phone call, I thought my time had arrived!  

But I began to feel scattered as I started planning for how I could seek out more speaking opportunities.  It was almost like I was trying to grab for myself something that God should provide, like Abraham taking God's promise for a son into his own hands.  I asked my small group to pray for God's guidance for me because I just wasn't sure where I was going or how to get there.  

Then God began to speak to me in His mysterious way.  A few friends said just the right thing or asked just the right question.  Then, one afternoon, both my kids had unusually awful meltdowns.  Our family life since Isaac turned three has been mostly peaceful.  Tantrums still happen, but they do not usually reach the overwhelming peak that they did when Isaac was two and Abby a baby.  So, to have both of my kids go completely out of control on me, finally snapped my thinking back into reality: I am not ready to take on any more than I have going right now!  

Upon further reflection, I realized that I have so much going right now.  I have my household to manage, my children to creatively raise, and my husband to love.  This has been my full-time job for the past four-and-half years.  But, I've also got my two books that I would still like to attempt to distribute beyond my immediate circle of friends, one of which I'm in the process of rewriting.  I have my blog that I LOVE to contribute to several times a week.  It's no Shakespeare, but it gives me an outlet and keeps my creative juices going.  And, when I stopped to think about it for a minute, I remembered that God has already blessed me with an awesome women's ministry.  

Two years ago, I felt prompted by God to invite the moms from my playgroup to join a new small group I would be leading.  I was nervous that no one would reply and I would feel like a total loser.  But to my pleasant surprise, my group filled up quickly with nine women.  And throughout the year, we had several other ladies inquire about joining.  So, I asked my friend Julie if she would be willing to start a second group.  To my pleasant surprise, she was.  In fact, she said that she has always felt like it was something God wanted her to do, but she just hadn't done it yet.  So, this fall, we split our original group into two groups, each with more than ten moms.  Still, we have other women inquiring about joining.  Then, to my pleasant surprise (again!), my good friend Jen told me she wants to start a third group in the fall.  Julie, Jen, and I have met together to plan how we can keep our two groups going, add a third in the fall, and even host a women's retreat weekend this spring.  What an amazing, growing, blessed women's ministry!  And I had forgotten to even notice it all until God knocked me on the head.

I also just so happen to have finished reading The Life and Strange Surprising Adventures of Robinson Crusoe by Daniel Defoethis week.

  

This quote in particular stood out to me: "I learned to look more upon the bright side of my condition and less upon the dark side, and to consider what I enjoyed rather than what I wanted; and this gave me sometimes such secret comforts that I cannot express them, and which I take notice of here to put those discontented people in mind of it who cannot enjoy comfortably what God has given them because they see and covet something that He has not given them.  All our discontents about what we want appeared to me to spring from the want of thankfulness for what we have."  This spoken by a man living alone on a deserted island for more than twenty years!

Okay, so I'm one of those people who need to be reminded to be thankful for what I have!  Now to refocus, once again: I am a wife and mother first, I am blessed secondly by an awesome women's ministry, and finally I work on my writing as I have time to do so.  I will continue to work with these blessings God has given me and let Him open the doors for me!  And if this sounds at all familiar to you coming from me, it's because it is!  On November 9 last year I wrote a post called 'My "New" Job' which was pretty much about the same thing.  I also have more than one chapter in EveryMom about having to learn to be content where God has put me.  It's both a strength and a weakness of mine to be inspired and excitable and to have a big heart for grand plans.  As always, God continues to speak in His mysterious way to guide me gently back into His path when my inspired, excitable nature starts making other plans.

Continue to teach me to be content, Lord, and to follow your lead.