_______Doh! There goes the Dough.

Don't you just love wasting money?  Yeah, me neither.  Yet it seems to be the theme of my month.

At the beginning of the month, just after Halloween in fact, I made an impulse purchase of one princess dress for Abby (Belle) that was 50% off in the Halloween aisle. The unfortunate thing was that the princess dress was apparently designed to unravel upon the wearer's first sneeze.  So, after Abby's first time wearing it, we now have a $15 pile of string.  Okay, I exaggerate.  It still resembles a dress, but it is quickly on its way to becoming a pile of string.

I tried to take it back but since I didn't have the receipt or the tags, we're stuck with it.  Abby and I went to the library after that for some good, free story time.  We had a great time with my friend Celine and her daughter Madelyn (Abby's best friend...you should see them fight!).  Then we went to check out our books.  Now those of you who know me well, know that moderation is not my strong suit.  I tend to overdo pretty much everything. So, our normal pile of books to check out looks like this on a weekly basis:

Unfortunately, I have been known to be late with the book pile once in a while, sometimes quite a bit late.  At fifteen books a week, I knew I was racking up some charges (perhaps $5 or $10?) and that at some point I would be blocked from checking out books until I paid the fine.  Well, that day happened to fall on the same day that I failed in getting a refund on the unraveling princess dress. In actuality, my fine was $27.60.  I only had $26 in cash but they let me check out our latest pile anyway, and by golly I did. I then vowed to get my money's worth out of that latest pile of free books. We read those books with a relish not before lavished upon library literature.

Then, just today, I got a little note from Isaac's preschool.  Apparently I missed paying his tuition at the beginning of the month.  Another $20 fine. Yikes!  Where has my brain gone off to this month?  And, more importantly, do I have to tell Adel?

Let me do the math: $15 for a shredded dress, $26 for my library negligence, and $20 late fee for preschool tuition.  That's a "stupidity fine" of $61!  I know it's not that much in the big picture, but oh, what I could do with $61!

Funny enough, in my small group today, we were just talking about behavioral patterns where you let yourself down over and over again and it ends up causing a feeling of shame or hopelessness that you'll never be able to change.  Naturally, I just happened to mention one of my behavioral patterns is carelessness (like the time I dropped an unmarked envelope containing $300 cash...don't ask, but we found it again!) (or the time I missed my flight from Hong Kong to my parent's house in Indonesia and would have had to spend 24 hours in the airport with no money...because I already spent it all and forgot a credit card...if I hadn't bumped into a friend of mine who had an uncle that lived there and could take me in) (or the equally vexing time...was it on the same trip?...that I thought my flight home from Indonesia was on a Friday afternoon, only to discover, that afternoon, that it had actually left without me on Thursday morning).

Yes, friends, I could keep going, but I think you get the idea.  Those incidents happened back in my immature college days.  I was a Christ-follower then, but a rather dim-witted one at times!  One would assume that I have matured a good deal since then.  And I have, for the most part.  So why am I now finding myself wasting $61 dollars (oh, what I could do with $61!) on totally avoidable circumstances?  And, more importantly, will I ever really change?  Here's the good news I read in our small group book this week (I doubt the timing of all this was a coincidence!):

"'That, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth.' (Eph. 4:22-24).

"We are to put on, or envelope ourselves in, this new self that progressively expresses Christian character in our attitudes and behavior...The truth of regeneration can dispel the specter of the past.  Our sins have been forgiven, and we now have tremendous capabilities for growth and change because we are new people with the Spirit of God living in us. Yes, when we sin we will experience its destructive effects and the Father's discipline, but our sin will never change the truth of who we are in Christ" (The Search for Significance).

Anyone who knew me then and still knows me now has been witness to the wonderful change in me as I journey with Christ.  I have come so far from the days when I deliberately chose to ignore God in my life.  This month I have been reminded (once again, and through more alarming ways than simply wasting money!) that I still have much room to grow as I continually put on my "new self."  I have also been graciously reminded that my shortcomings, small and great, will never change who I am in Christ.  Good news indeed!