A Happy Housewife?

Not desperate, bored, lonely, or overzealous.  Just Happy.  The question I asked myself when I was preparing to be a mom for the first time was, "Is there such thing as a happy housewife?"  Afterall, the Women's Lit I had read in college had pretty clearly defined a life as homemaker as a life of subservient bondage.  Even today, trying to find a portrait of happy domesticity is pretty difficult whether in literature, television, or movies.  Admittedly, it wouldn't make for great storytelling.  I get that.  But does it make for a good life?  After almost five completed years as a stay-at-home mom, I would have to say yes.

I'm not claiming this job is easy.  Some days the glamor of pursuing a career and hiring household help is very alluring.  Some days  my kids' behavior makes me want to hide under the covers in a fetal position with earplugs employed.  It's not easy, but it is very satisfying.  Through these years, I have cultivated a love of meeting the various needs of my family members (myself included).  These last couple years have been extremely rewarding for me.  But the journey here has not always been pleasant.

1

My first year as a stay-at-home mom was a pretty typical year of adjustment.  That year I learned how to create good balance between meeting my own needs and the needs of my husband and son.

2

My second year was exciting and busy (and stressful) with a move to Texas from California and preparing for baby #2.

3

Year three was the most difficult year of all as I struggled to stay afloat in meeting the needs of a newborn and a toddler.  Between trying to foster new friendships while hardly able to care for myself and my kids, putting my husband on a perpetual back burner, and battling long-term baby blues, this year was about as close as I ever got to being a desperate housewife!

4

The fourth year was a joyful surprise.  My kids (then ages 3 and 1) were suddenly so much easier to care for.   I had finally made a home for myself in Texas and was beginning to feel the effects of my earlier attempts to invest in new friendships.  I even made some small strides in bringing my husband back to the top of the totem pole, where he belongs.

5

And things have just kept getting better!  This past year, with a 2 year old and a 4 year old, I have had the kind of freedom that makes being a stay-at-home mom really rewarding.  My kids have grown in independence to the point where I'm able to focus now and then on the things that really interest me (like decorating my house, blogging, my husband, and my friendships).  I have grown in this job from the sense of being overwhelmed by meeting the needs of my kids to a sense of inspiration and creativity in the experiences I create for them.  I am loving it.

The kids playing "train" with our chairs.

As Abby has just turned three and Isaac is soon-to-be five years old, I am preparing to enter into year number six of this job. I think it would be appropriate to list the things that make being a stay-at-home mom so rewarding.  I want to do this to thank God for the blessings He has given me as a happy housewife.  I also want a record to remind myself in those inevitable moments of frustration, stress, or discontent, that I actually like doing this! This job is awesome because:

• I get to spend LOTS of time with my kids while they are so vulnerable, impressionable, and little (not to mention cute!).
• I get to be the first person to teach my kids about the world.
• My alarm clock in the morning is the voice of a child.
• I get to take a nap if I need one!
• I have the time to plan special occasions, outings, meals, and events for my children and my husband.
• I get to use my creativity and time to make this house a joyful home.
• In the moments when I'm not actively parenting or housekeeping, I can focus on my own interests.  
• I get to decide how our days and weeks are structured and scheduled.

Abby helping me mop the floor.

Stay-at-home friends, I'd love to have you add what you love about your job to my comments!  

Working-mom friends, I'm not at all knocking the working mom!  Being able to balance career and home life well is an art form in itself.  And there's something to be said about pursuing happiness outside of the home.  (Even as I wrote this paragraph, my charming daughter just dripped a trail off peepee from the office chair to the toilet!)  But, in this world where nothing is easy and no life without trials, I just wanted to take a moment to celebrate hardworking, happy housewives!

Anybody else out there fit that description?