Step By Step

As I drove home from dropping Mimi and Boppa at the airport this morning, I started singing an old-school praise song we used to sing in summer camp or student ministries:

Step By Step Lyrics

Written by- David Strasser

O God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You
O God, You are my God
And I will ever praise You

I will seek You in the morning
And I will learn to walk in Your ways
And step by step You'll lead me
And I will follow You all of my days

And then, as I was singing, I realized that I couldn't remember which freeway connected the one I was on to the one I needed to be on to get home.  I felt a familiar moment of panic as I wondered whether I would get lost and stray off my path before I reached my destination.  But as I drove on, a sign appeared directing me to Downtown via the right lane.  I knew my house lay beyond Downtown, so I followed those directions.  

The panic set in again when I realized that I still wasn't sure if I was on the right path for my desired goal.  Yet again, a sign directed me to Downtown and I followed.  And finally, I saw the sign for the freeway that I knew would take me home.  In that moment of realization that I was on the right track for sure, the words to the song I was singing really hit me.  

And step by step You'll lead me

I have spent much time and energy in these past few months in trying to get God to show me the final destination.  "God, next year, with Isaac in school full-time, I'm going to have much more time on my hands.  What is it you want me to do come next fall?"  Over and over again I have fretted and prayer this prayer.  In the midst of my fretting, I have forgotten that, while God does promise to guide me, it is not always by giving me the whole picture.  Rather, He choses to cultivate trust and dependence in me by showing me just one step at a time.

Psalm 119:105

"Your word is a lamp to my feet

And a light to my path."

To put it pictorially, He choses to show me not this view (the view of the whole path):

Rather, He choses to show me this view (the view of my next step along the way):

And it is up to me to trust Him and take the next step without worrying about the end result.  That can be really challenging for a control freak like me.  And sometimes the next step can feel an awful lot like standing still.  

I also confess that I have been intending to start a new habit of asking God into my day first thing in the morning, as the song states.  I'm a busy mom and usually the first sound that hits my ears (often before the light of day) is that of a little voice telling me it needs something.  I usually do my quiet time of reading and prayer in the afternoon when the kids are napping (or "having quiet rest time" as we call it now).  But I have been wanting to also get into the habit of rolling out of bed at the sound of that first small voice and, instead of jumping into action, spending a moment to prayerfully ask God to join me in my adventures of the day. (The kid can wait a minute. I'm just sure of it!)  I want to take a moment to ask God to be my guide as He directs the important steps that I take throughout the day, in the moments that really matter.  

I imagine if I make it a habit to hand over each day to Him at the start, I will feel much more at peace with following Him step by step.