The first year of grief over losing my Dad was so hard and raw. I am now almost halfway through the second year and it has been easier. Sad thoughts of my dad have been replaced by happy ones more often than not. But the last couple of weeks have taken me back a bit. I can't quite put my finger on why...conversations that remind me of the hard things we went through trying to help him in his last weeks...wanting to share our excitement over our plans with him...how Isaac is doing so well learning Fur Elise, Dad's song, on the piano...that my mom is moving from the home where Dad lived his last years and died in...people and moments that remind me of him, of what we are missing out on with him gone...I guess it's just all of that piled up at one time and it was time for my heart to overflow with it.
I have been saving these photos from the weeks right after Dad passed away. Beautiful, hard weeks of grief and family and comfort and loss and love. I never used them for anything, never blogged about them...but now it's time.
Just days after Dad passed away, we needed an outing to hold us together so we all went to see a movie. It was bright outside after the dark theater, but we had the kids line up for a picture anyway.
Aubrey and Abby after the movie.
At my dad's Celebration of Life with Adel. I remember feeling strangely calm and at peace during this event, a true testament of God's provision.
Jen and Shannon came to be a source of comfort for me.
A photo of my mom and dad before they were married. Dad making his chocolate chip cookies, even back then!
A sweet card Abby made for Mimi. (I know you are having a hard time and you are the best grandma ever. I miss Boppa too.)
Lastly, since mom has found a great new house in a neighborhood where she will be surrounded by friends and be able to build a wonderful life for herself, she is packing up and selling their old house. This isn't the house I grew up in or anything like that, but it's the place my dad lived for the last 10 years, the house where grandkids ruled his heart and the last memories I have of him as my dad. So, it's another goodbye and I took pictures so I could always remember the special moments here.
Dad's office. Through these windows, we would see Dad hard at work helping his fledgeling company take off. Toward the end of the workday, and the approach of happy hour, Mom would send the grandkids to look through the windows at him with big sad eyes, so he would wrap it up a few minutes early and come join us on the patio. It's hard to see that desk without him sitting there.
His room where he spent his last few days and then his last few breaths, surrounded by family. To me, this is a holy place because I saw him peacefully give his soul to God.
The pool, the heart of the family gatherings. Since his bad knees wouldn't let him run anymore, Dad would wake up before any of us and spend an hour swimming laps. Even when he was sick with chemo, Dad loved to spend time in the pool with the grandkids.
Abby in front of the house, the first view we would see as we drove up. Dad would either be mowing the lawn or coming out to greet us.
It's just a house, and I know it is the best thing for mom to move to her new home, but those memories are precious and I'm glad I have photos to help me keep them.
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