Heart's Song to God

I am plain ole worn out.  And I have been for quite a while now.  Last night I read this hilarious article by Jen Hatmaker that sums up the school-mom part of my overwhelmed self: Worse End of School Year Mom Ever.  When I read it, I laughed so hard I cried.  I have done all of those things and I am so so very done with all the little "important" things.  Add to that my work commitments, church commitments, social commitments, and family commitments and I pretty much just want to give up altogether.

Two friends of mine recently shared songs they wrote with me, and this morning as I contemplated how used up I feel, I decided that spending time pouring my heart out to God was the best time commitment I could make.  So, although this song has no tune, and it's really just a poem, my heart is singing this to God today:

I've made too many commitments

I have too many cares

God, I know you’re behind me

I fear I’m leaving you there

I feel used up and done

I just want to give up

I can’t keep up much longer

God, can you fill my cup

chorus

Lord, I’ve been here before

and I know what to do

I must choose you first

Let your love pull me through

And what I can’t accomplish

When in man’s eyes I fail

Your grace is enough

Your love still prevails

Help me come to you first

Help me sit at your feet

And pour out my heart

Until you fill it complete

Then the rest seems less urgent

I have peace in my heart

And it’s your love that drives me

As my feet do their part

chorus

Lord, I’ve been here before

and I know what to do

I must choose you first

Let your love pull me through

And what I can’t accomplish

When in man’s eyes I fail

Your grace is enough

Your love still prevails

And then I heard this song in the car.  I have heard it a million times before but this is the first time I really heard it, if you know what I mean.  It's called Sam's Song, by Chris Rice (emphasis mine):

Grass is always greener on the other side
The search is never over in the pastures of my mind
Is the meaning of happiness drowning in smiles
Or that dreadful world I left behind?
O Lord grant the grace to accept who I am
Who I am, that You have designed

I know there’s a plan that you have up your sleeve
Rabbi, teach me the faith to believe
It’s the only way my life will ever make sense to me
Oh, la-da-da, la-da-da, la-da-da

I can never measure, ‘cause better things are all around
I’d be bitter and chained to the beauty I never found
But the strength of my Lord’s love, it shatters the scale
And its depth gives a new peak to climb
And it grants me the grace to accept who I am
Who I am, that You have designed

I know there’s a plan that You have up Your sleeve
Rabbi, teach me the faith to believe
It’s the only way my life will ever make sense to me

And my resting place is taught by love
It’s the only peace I know of . . . oh I know of

So when my heart is beaten by the standard of the law
I just remember Jesus, and I’ve found my favor with God
‘Cause the fire of my Lord’s love it burns up the scale
And its depth gives a new peak to climb
And it grants me the grace to accept who I am
Who I am, that You have designed

And I know there’s a plan that You have up Your sleeve
Rabbi, teach me the faith to believe
It’s the only way my life will ever make sense to me
Oh la-da-da, la-da-da, la-da-da
La-da-da, la-da-da
La-da-da, da-da-da

Oh, God's grace is so good.