May in Pictures

Celebrating our Court victory with the fam!

Ice Cream date with Mom

Cracker Barel for Mother's Day breakfast. 

Twins.  They were so proud. 

"I look just like Daddy!"

Isaac's band concert

Abby's 4th grade field trip to the park and then to see the play Bunnicula. 

Adel and I spoke briefly on the panel at our church's first orphan care conference.  So excited to see this community continue to grow!

Ummm, what is happening?!

Noooooooo!!!! (YES!)

Sweet friends took Isaac out for some quality time since he's been having a hard time post-trial and pre-final exams.  

Some how this kid made the A/B honor roll with no help from his parents and with a lot of chaos at home this school year.  So proud of him. 

We got to keep baby Fe for a day!

Big sis read her a story

Nap time

And lots of attention!

J wanted to try out her chair. 

Going for a walk

My 4 having a sweet (rare) moment 

These 2 have sweet moments often

Getting his workout at PT.

Preschool end of the year party!

Mr. Handsome

Ms. Beauty

Factoids and Photos from the Trial

We started off in the ceremonial court room because we had a jury panel of almost 100 potential jurors. We took pictures when the courtroom was empty because win or lose, this is one of the craziest things we have ever done together and we didn't want to forget it!

The doors were about to open, letting in the almost 100 potential jurors.  I leaned over to Tina and said, "Did you ever, in a million years, think you would be sitting on this side of the courtroom? What in the heck are we doing?! We are so stupid!"

This fight wouldn't have been possible without the amazing friends who picked up our kids after school each day and took such good care of them.  The kids had so much fun that it really lessened the stress and worry over us not being around as much or over the significance of the decision that was about to be made for them.

Texting to Tina: "Does this look okay?"  The DA told us to dress professionally, but not too flashy.  She said the jury judges you based on appearance, so I spent more time during this week than I do in a regular year fixing my hair, clothes, and make up.  I practiced doing my hair for weeks beforehand to tame it into a socially acceptable standard.  I watched Youtube tutorials on applying eye shadow (that probably no one could see because I still used it sparingly).  I borrowed "court clothes" from friends so that I wouldn't have to go shopping.

Since we started on a Friday, we had a weekend before our case finished.  Saturday was nice to have a break from the stress.  

We used the opportunity to have a sibling splash play day in the backyard since our weekdays had been too busy to fit it in.  B&J and Samantha.

Allie, Brenda, Isaac, and Abby

Abby and Isaac watched Jurassic Park with us after we tucked the Littles into bed.  They did great with the scary content, but then of course slept in our room.  This is Abby under her pile of stuffed animals:

Monday Morning, J begged to wear his "fancy tie" in honor of teacher appreciation week.  OMGee so cute. 

Factoids:

• Bio Mom's attorney used every break time to try to convince Bio Mom to relinquish her rights. We overheard him doing this several times.  He was a good guy and we liked him a lot. 
• Court TV shows do nothing to prepare you for the excruciatingly morning moments of trials.  If you could have boiled our trial down to the most interesting 5 hours, it would have been very exciting. 
• Court TV also doesn't show what happens behind the scenes.  The banter of the lawyers when the jury wasn't in the room was very amusing.  Even Bio Mom's lawyer joined in, or started much of the frivolity.  And us foster parents were part of all of it and became pretty close with the lawyers in the room (except for Bio Dad's lawyers who were always cold).  
• Our jury consisted of 4 minorities and 8 whites; 9 women and 3 men; all age groups

Wednesday morning...decision day

Feeling hopeful, and maybe a bit silly...

Our teammates, Harold and Tina.

Since Bio Dad walked away, we used a moment at lunchtime to delete the reoccurring phone call event from the calendar.  Ah, satisfaction.  

Took a silly picture of us waiting for the jury to deliberate.  We were trying to set my family at ease with our silliness because they were so nervous for us!

Then we decided to walk up the 15 floors to our courtroom, just to waste time while waiting. 

After we won (YAY!)  We hugged and thanked each of these beautiful ladies, who are our heroes.  From left to right: Stephanie, Attorney for CPS; Ashley, our caseworker; Jeanice, the DA; Natasha, our former caseworker and now Ashley's supervisor.  They thanked us for intervening and said it wouldn't have ended this way if we hadn't. 

We awkwardly hugged our lawyer too at the end, but he is a bit less emotional than this fabulous group of ladies!  Our lawyer is quite a character and we made a list of very (to us) entertaining Polland-isms:

• "Did you hear how I complemented all the lawyers?  They're all dip shits!"
• "Did you see what I did?"
• "I don't even care!"
• "They call me the terminator!"
• "He is just a sperm donor!"
• "I'm going to pounce on him...like a panther!"
• "Pretty smart, huh!?"
• When Bio Dad relinquished: "I would have torn him up.  I'm very disappointed!"
• "The list"
• "One Thousand Points of Light"
• "This is already won!"
• "This trial is over!"

That night, we gathered our foster families to tell the kids the news together.  

This was the moment they realized they would get to stay with us forever!  My favorite part was where Briana ran from the couch and leapt into my arms!

When Briana was so anxious last week, I asked her to help plan our victory party.  She picked a glow disco dance party so we did it!

The next morning, the kids celebrated with Ms. Suzanne!

The day after the verdict was very surreal.  We were all exhausted and a few of us had meltdowns here and there.  I felt like a huge cloud was lifted but still just felt so raw from the battle we had just endured.  This is totally nerdy so humor me, but it felt like the final battle scene of Lord of the Rings where Sauron's tower finally falls.  There's this silent awe kind of moment where all the action stops and people who have been battling for so long to defeat the evil look up and realize it is won.  That is what it felt like. We are battered and exhausted but the battle is won.  And now we look back on it all and see how worth it it all was!  We see how God's hand was at work to provide for their emancipation long before we ever even met these kids.  If He hadn't led us to downsize our home two years ago, I doubt we would have been able to financially sustain this fight.  If He hadn't of led us to the lawyer we had, we would not have won.  We are convinced that because of our lawyer's connections, he alone had the influence to win this fight.  The system is broken and it shouldn't be this way, but it is, and God led us through it to victory.  We are so so thankful and we now understand God's love for us so much more.  We were "all-in" for these kids, willing to give up everything to save them and most of the time they are completely unaware and unthankful for the sacrifice.  Oh but how we love them!  How God loves us even we were are completely unaware and unthankful! 

This precious boy is MINE FOREVER!

This Red Hot Mess is MINE FOREVER!

We thank every person who helped, supported us, and prayed over this process!  We feel that this experience has brought a piece God's kingdom here on earth for these children, but also for our community that stepped up to serve these helpless ones.  

Trial Day 4, The End!

On the last day of trial, we waited 2 hours for the lawyers and the judge to agree on the jury charges.  In the end, they agreed on 2 questions:

1. Should Bio Mom's rights be terminated?
2. Should CPS be granted Temporary Managing Conservatorship for the kids?  (It was explained to the jury that the foster parents cannot adopt directly from the bio parents, but that TMC must be awarded to CPS first and then we can adopt). 

Finally, the jury came in and the lawyers each gave their opening statements:

DISTRICT ATTORNEY

She reminded the jury that:

•  this case is about the best interest of the children and that Acts and Omissions that lead to abuse are grounds to terminate parental rights
• B and J were off the growth chart for their age range (negative 5 and negative 6 respectively), which is astonishing
• failing to provide food is an act of abuse
• parents are required to provide minimally adequate health and nutritional care
• the mother, who never still admits there was anything wrong with the kids, should have known weeks into the months of deterioration and sought medical care
• Allie and Brenda, the older sisters, have suffered the emotional effects of seeing their siblings starve to death not to mention the physical abuse (since B&J each had more than one broken bone)
• Bio Mom has criminal charges pending for injury to child by omission
• Bio Mom took the 5th amendment so many times so as not to incriminate herself
• the best interests for these children is the jury's primary responsibility
• each child is unique and special, and she described each child again to the jury
• termination of Bio Mom's parental rights is in the best interest of these kids

BIO MOM'S ATTORNEY

He pointed out that:

• Bio Mom has not tried to hide any evidence
• the jury is the finder of facts
• each lawyer is here to tell his or her client's story
• there was abuse to the children, but also abuse to the mother - with lasting effects
• they should deliberate and carefully consider issues and opinions before taking action
• at a quick glance, this case is easy: terminate and done, but look at all the options first!
• the detective never took the time to talk tot the medical professionals 
• Bio Mom is innocent until proven guilty for her criminal charges
• that the doctor admitted she has been wrong before
• Bio Mom has been cooperative with everyone - talked openly and willingly
• Bio Mom completed all of her service plans, hoping to get her kids back when she was done
• Bio Mom wants a chance to show that she's not a bad mother
• the grounds to terminate on Bio Mom say that she knowingly committed acts or omissions of abuse - that knowingly conveys an awareness or understanding but that both the Child Advocate and CPS said that Bio Mom did not seem to have an understanding of their condition
• Bio Mom's lawyer did not choose to cross examine the foster parents when they testified: "How could I?  They are good people! But it's not about them."
• Bio Mom should have a chance to have some involvement in her children's lives and show that she is not the bad person she is being portrayed as today

I gotta admit, he did a great job defending her, which had to be very hard to do!  I was a little nervous at the end of his closing arguments that some in the jury might be swayed from the truth by his compelling words.  But I kept telling myself, surely they can see that this woman should never be allowed near kids again?!

OUR LAWYER's Closing Statements:

• Thanked them for sitting in on this horrific case
• Reminded them that the case is about the children
• Informed them that the Bio Dad relinquished his parental rights (this is the first time anyone had told them what truly happened)
• Reminded them that at jury selection they were asked if they could find it in themselves to terminate parental rights given the right circumstances and that they all said yes- "I call upon you to keep that promise!"
• Reminded them that B&J looked like children of the Holocaust, that the Doctor described their bodies as consuming/breaking down their own fat, bones, muscles, organs, just to survive.  Reminded them that the Doctor said of the thousands of cases she has seen, this case is in the worst 3 or 4 cases.  
• Reminded them that Bio Mom's lawyer asked for her to receive a second chance: "A second chance for what?  More abuse?  To finish them off this time?!"
• The children have spoken...they want to stay where they are!
• "The children were in hell.  Now they are in heaven.  The only way they return to hell is if you put them there."
• Was the mom responsible? No doubt!
• This case started in 2014 when the children began starving.  
• "CPS doesn't always get it right, but this time they did the right thing.  They saved four children from death."
• Bio Mom still says the Stepdad (in jail with 2 felony child abuse charges) is a good person.
• She either did it, or allowed it to happen.  She should do something to help her children.  But she didn't.  She was eating while her children starved.  They were getting sexually abuse and she did nothing to stop it. 
• Reviewed the Characteristics of a Good Parent chart.  Pointed out that Bio Mom took the 5th amendment over 30 times on the witness stand.  He contrasted her F grade as a parent to the foster parents' A.
• Clarified that CPS must be awarded custody of the kids so that the foster parents can adopt.  
• The CPS Caseworker confirmed that Bio Mom did her service plan.  "So what?! That doesn't mean you should get your kids back!"
• That the Child Advocate is a volunteer, one of the thousand points of light, and he was clear as day that the mom should have her rights terminated.
• He showed pictures of B&J with our family and the jury smiled. 
• You should: 1. Terminate the mom's rights 2. award CPS managing conservatorship
• "In 5-10 years if you return the kids to their mom, you will always wonder what happened to them.  You will wonder if she did them further harm.  But if you terminate her rights and allow my clients to adopt them, you will never have to wonder if the kids are okay.  You will know they are happy and healthy."

CHILDREN'S AD LITEM'S Closing Statements:

• Reminded them that her job is to tell them what is in the best interest of the kids
• Parental rights should be terminated
• All the children want to remain where they are
• Reminded them of the children's emotional and physical needs: that JJ needs ongoing occupational, speech, and physical therapy; that the older girls had to witness the abuse of their siblings and will have ongoing emotional/psychological therapy needs; that the Doctor said the children would have problems in the future that will need to be addressed
• If they would be returned to the mom, the children would be in physical danger, but that they are safe with the foster parents.  "No second chance!" Bio Mom has no stability.  
• By acts and omissions bio mom is responsible for broken bones, physical and sexual abuse and starved these kids to death (at this point, the Ad Litem got emotional). 
• Bio mom has no understanding of the children's needs.  She heard the doctor testify that they almost died and she still says she doesn't know what's going on.  "What's worse: not knowing or doing it on purpose?  It doesn't matter!"
• "This isn't about parents rights.  It's about the children's rights.  I would argue it's about human rights."

Finally, the DISTRICT ATTORNEYDgets to come back to make the last Closing Statement:

• She showed the "before pics" of B&J starving to death
• "The mom is a victim and we might sympathize or even empathize with her.  Despite that, there is no excuse for what she has done."
• Showed the picture of Bio Mom's full pantry and refrigerator and reminded them of the amount of food stamps Bio Mom was receiving.  
• "The Mom asked for credit for doing her services and for taking her kids to the hospital after CPS told her to.  Yes, let's give credit where credit is due.  Give her credit for starving her children to death.  Give her credit for sitting by while her daughters were sexually abused.  Give her credit for the broken bones.  It has been said here today that my clients (CPS) were heroes, but the real hero is Brenda.  It was Brenda that shown the light into the darkness that was her house when she made an outcry for help at school.  The Department (CPS), by clear and convincing evidence, has proven it's case."

The judge then read the jury their charges and at 12:50 we left the courtroom for lunch while the jury went to deliberate over their own lunch. At 2:20 we were summoned back into the courtroom to hear their verdict.  I didn't feel emotional, but Tina and I were holding hands as the jury walked in and I started to cry just from the weight of the moment.  The judge took the verdict and looked over it for an excruciating minute, while his face did not betray what the verdict said.  Finally, he read the verdict: the jury unanimously voted to terminate Bio Mom's rights and award CPS TMC so that we could adopt!  

The jury was excused, but oh how we wanted to run up and hug each one!  Bio Mom did not react at all and her lawyer lead her out of the courtroom.  Then her lawyer came back in to congratulate all of us on our win.  The rest of us all exchanged congratulations, hugs, and tears.  Ten minutes later, we were walking out of the courtroom, forever changed.  What a moment! 

Trial Days 2 and 3

Day 2

TEXAS CHILDREN'S DOCTOR
This day started with the doctor from Texas Children's who is an expert witness and had many credentials in the field of child abuse medicine.  She described J&B's condition upon entering the hospitals as starved to the point where their bodies had fully digested all extraneous fat deposits and some muscles, that neither of the kids could stand up unassisted due to weakness, that J was contracted into a fetal position and couldn't even hold up his own head.  She described that in order for them to be in this condition they would have had to have been deprived food for months, possibly the duration of the preceding year.

The doctor described her efforts to find a cause for their condition, and that there were no medical records of pre-existing conditions that would cause them to be in such a state.  She very adamantly said she was CERTAIN the parents were lying when they said they fed the children three times a day. She said that there would be long term cognitive damage (at higher levels), physical damage (for J) and emotional damage that would require extra attention from their future caregivers.  

The best thing about this doctor was her facial expressions and her emotions.  She had a way of informing the jury that she thought a question was idiotic by the way she answered it.  She never wavered on her convictions.  When our lawyer showed the doctor a current picture of B&J with our family, the doctor started crying and had to take a few minutes to collect herself because she was just so emotional to see them looking so happy and healthy. When our lawyer asked if the doctor saw any reason to move the kids from their current placement after seeing that picture, she said "Absolutely NOT!"

BIO MOM
The second witness of the day was Bio Mom, who continued her cross-examination from the previous day.  She continued to maintain that the abusive step-dad (who is in jail for criminal child abuse of our kids) is a good husband to her and father to them.  She also revealed that Bio Dad failed to appear to the court hearing where she established child support and where he could have fought for visitation rights.  Bio Dad's lawyer showed Bio Mom a record of child support payments and tried to make it seem like she was lying about not receiving much.  Our lawyer pointed out thatBio Mom didn't receive the money because it went to the government to repay what she had been given in food stamps and WIC and that Bio Dad had not willingly paid the child support but that it had been garnished from his tax returns.  Bio Mom also revealed that a mutual friend came to visit her and the kids, indicating that if Bio Dad had wanted to, he could have made the efforts to find them.  Our lawyer pointed out that instead, Bio Dad was busy impregnating a new 16 year old, this time while he is in his 30s.

Our lawyer talked about the 20 traits that the jury panel had listed for what makes a good parent.  Then he had Bio Mom rate herself on each one.  If she said she did good on one, for example, loving her kids, our lawyer would say something like: "Really, Ma'am, you think when you deprive your kids of food until they look like victims of the Holocaust, that is showing love to them?"  She then would plead the 5th to not incriminate herself.  He wrote down her answers on the chart of what makes a good parent and almost all of them where "the 5th."

Our lawyer then showed Bio Mom the picture of our family with B&J looking so happy and healthy.
Lawyer: Ma'am do you see this picture of your kids with their current family?
Bio Mom: Yes
Lawyer: Do they look happy?
Bio Mom: Yes
Lawyer: Do they look healthy?
Bio Mom: Yes
Lawyer: Do you want what is best for your kids?
Bio Mom: Yes (at this point she is crying...the first time we have EVER seen her show emotion)
Lawyer: Do you agree that what is best for your kids is to stay where they are at where they are loved and fed?
Bio Mom: I want what's best for my kids
Lawyer: Yes, and don't you agree that it is to stay with this family that loves them and feeds them?
Bio Mom: I want what's best for my kids
Lawyer: I pass the witness

BIO DAD
The District Attorney then called Bio Dad to witness, at which point, Bio Dad walked out of the courtroom.  The court recessed and we were told a while later that Bio Dad was scared to testify and wanted to relinquish his rights.  We were excited, but wary because the DA said she would not be able to accept his relinquishment if he was claiming it was made under duress.  Court was adjourned for the day for Bio Dad to talk to his attorneys.


Day 3

BIO DAD
On previous days, Bio Dad had worn a suit provided by his attorney.  On this day, he came into court wearing a white undershirt and jeans.  Bio Dad's attorneys started off by restating that Bio Dad wanted to relinquish his rights.  He was then questioned and it was established that he was relinquishing his rights:

• Because he believed it was in the children's best interest
• Not under any kind of duress
• That it is irrevocable - "no take backs"
• And that he intended the kids to be adopted by the Maddocks and Lagoy families

The jury was called in and the judge explained to them that Bio Dad was no longer a part of this case (that's all he said about it!)

CPS CASEWORKER

Then our caseworker was called to testify.  She described each of the kids

• Alejandra: reserved, initially took on the motherly role for her younger siblings, but is now learning to be a child
• Brenda: a people pleaser, likes to be told she's doing good, bright and bubbly
• Briana: A diva (ha, YES!), sassy, fun, talkative, affectionate
• JJ: tags along with siblings, chill, shy, flirty, goes with the flow (I'm not sure these are the best descriptors of him but they do fit so I won't argue too much)

She explained CPS's goal for the kids was unrelated adoption.  Her ongoing concern for placing the kids with Bio Mom is that Bio Mom has still never demonstrated her acceptance of her role as perpetrator of child abuse, that she does not have the ability to care fro the children, and that all of the children want to stay with their foster parents.  The CPS worker then stated that the foster parents are ready, willing, and able to meet all of the needs of the children.  She stated that the kids should NEVER return to Bio Mom.  

She explained that although Bio Mom completed her service plan such as counseling and parenting classes, she never demonstrated the ability to apply those learnings to her family situation by changing her explanation of what happened to the kids or by taking responsibility for it.  She explained that Bio Mom's relatives cannot be considered as placements because they saw the kids in their starved condition and did not intervene to save them, nor do they acknowledge in hindsight that anything was wrong with them.  Bio Mom's lawyer's biggest argument was repeating that Bio Mom repeatedly told CPS that she desired to be reunified with her kids.  

CHILD ADVOCATE

He testified that:

• The children were very lucky to be in our homes
• That the foster parents were very proactive in seeking to meet their many needs
• The foster families went above and beyond to keep the siblings connected
• He shared the same concerns about the Bio Mom as did CPS
• He believed it is in the best interest of the children to terminate Bio Mom's rights and for the kids to be adopted by their foster parents

MEGAN LAGOY

After the Child Advocate, the DA had no more witnesses. (She would have called many more, but now that Bio Dad has relinquished his rights, and neither he nor his lawyers are in the courtroom, she was able to simplify her witness list). Our lawyer called me as his first witness.

He first asked me to tell about when the kids were first placed with us, so I told the jury about how we got the call and went to pick them up two days before Christmas.  He asked if we had Christmas presents for them and I said, yes, probably more than we had for our biological children.  Then he had me answer the same 20 questions he had asked of Bio Mom about whether I was a good parent and my answer was yes for all 20 questions.  Interestingly, our lawyer remarked that Bio Dad "is gone.  Doesn't matter." Then he marked N/A under Bio Dad's name on the chart.  Many of the jury smirked at this and seemed to appreciate the clue into what happened to Bio Dad.

Then he brought out a 60 page document I had created for him, that had a timeline and photos of us and the kids over the past year and a quarter.  We then spent about 20 minutes going over pictures and sharing many of the special moments that are captured in this blog.  I will spare you the touching details but suffice it to say that the jury was smiling and visibly touched by the photos and stories I shared.  

He asked me what I was asking the jury to do and I told them I was asking them to terminate Bio Mom's rights and allow us to adopt the kids.  He asked me why we intervened in the case and I said I wanted to make sure we did everything in our power to keep the kids safe and provide stability and on-going support.  He asked me to tell the jury about our previous foster son that we helped reunify with his biological mother (to show that we weren't just out to steal someone's kids). 

ADEL LAGOY

Then it was Adel's turn.  His was much shorter as he was asked if he agreed with everything I said and did he fully support our adoption efforts.  He also stated that he was asking the jury to terminate Bio Mom's rights so that we could adopt them. He explained some more about how we support the kids and that we love them like we love our own kids.  He explained that fostering them has helped our family by giving us new family members to love and also by helping us appreciate the family we have and to understand that not everyone experience the same in life.

HAROLD MADDOCKS

He was asked about how he and Tina measure up on the chart of 20 parenting requirements and of course they answered yes to everything.  Then he went through his document of timeline and photos. It was great to see how happy the girls are now and hear the stories of how the foster parents have worked hard to help them get to where they need to be.

TINA MADDOCKS

Similarly to Adel, Tina basically agreed to what her husband said and that she was fully committed to  adopting their girls.  

Then we were dismissed for the day as there were no other witnesses. Tomorrow, the lawyers will each deliver their closing statements and then the jury will deliberate and give their verdict.  We have a lot of hope that they will chose to terminate Bio Mom's rights because the case was laid out very well!  Since Bio Dad has relinquished his rights, we would then move into the adoption process for our babies!  

Just to be clear, Bio Dad never would have relinquished his rights if we hadn't hired a lawyer to intervene in this case.  Under the associate judge, he was gaining access to the kids against the kids' lawyer's, CPS's, and the Child Advocate's recommendations.  In fact, there was a point in March when the court decided that Bio Dad would get three weeks in a row of family visitation and family therapy and then, if all was successful, the kids would be given to them.  That is when we intervened, when we saw that the kids would be given to him if we did nothing to stop it.  We never believed this was in their best interest and the kids have never wanted to go with him (my kids didn't even know who he was at first).  We feared for their futures and believed the right thing for us to do with the responsibility we were given when we took them in was to stand in their defense.  The minute we intervened, things began to change:

• The trial was moved out from under the associate judge to the main judge (much better!!!)
• The DA found the courage to stand firm in insisting on terminating not just Bio Mom's, but also Bio Dad's rights. 
• We found we now had a voice, and major (because of our lawyer) influence in the court

And then, as the trial progressed, Bio Dad saw for the first time that everyone was aligned against him and that everyone sought to hold him accountable for the abandonment of his children that lead to their neglect and abuse by others.  He saw that the other parties in the court condemned him as a three-time sexual predator of sixteen year old girls as well as having previously abandoning another of his children who is now 14 years old.  When it came time for him to testify, he was just too scared and we believe it was the first time he saw his situation clearly from the eyes of the rest of the courtroom.   It's crazy to think of how different the outcome was going to be without us intervening!