California Dreams, Part 3

Other random pics from our trip so far:

Reading with Uncle Adrian.

Reading with Uncle Allen.

"The Uncles" have been awesome...never turning down a request from the kids...pretty sweet.

Adding some pieces to our Advent calendar story.

We had to catch up because I didn't start it until we got here, so we're doing about four a day instead of one a day.  Baby Jesus will be making a solo appearance on Christmas morning though, as it should be!

We met the extended family for bowling.  Abby with Kaitlin and Joycee.

Isaac with Alex.

First time using grown-up sized balls.

Joshua is a teenager now.  I remember him being younger than Isaac.

I guess I forgot to take into account how many years have gone by...I bought him a toy for a 5-7 year old!  Guess I'll have to rethink his Christmas gift.

The newest member: Vincent.

Isaac won lots of tickets playing "Deal or No Deal" with Uncle Allen.

Mmmmmmmm...In N Out

(At this point, the kids and I have been 3 times and Adel has been twice)

Car fun?  Not my most flattering pic but I thought it was funny...and very truth-telling about real-life in the Lagoy family.

Giant Christmas Tree.

Lolo and Lola bought the kids giant ice cream cones.

I think they kind of liked them.

Kid Quotables:

• We were singing Christmas carols in the car and Isaac asked me to not to sing "Frosty the Snowman" because it makes him cry when Frosty has to go away."  Sweet, sensitive boy.
• Abby, picking dandelions and making wishes: "I wish I were a princess."  "I wish I could pick a lot of flowers." "I wish Lola had lots of toys."

Family Dynamics

I've decided to include this post about my relationship with my in-laws in the category of "Growing as a Godly Wife" because I think it is important to acknowledge that when you get married, you marry into a family.  And our latest trip to visit Adel's side of the family was a significant one for me.  For the first time in many years, we were returning to his parents' home rather than meeting them in San Diego as usual.  The significance of this was that being back in their house again brought back memories of the old days.  

I have many memories of our previous trips to their home from before we were married and in the early years of our marriage.  While I always had a good time during those visits and can say that I am truly blessed to have wonderful in-laws and a good relationship with them, there are also memories of some inner struggles that I associate with those first few years.  Now, let me make this perfectly clear: my in-laws have never given me the slightest reason to feel any discomfort.  They have always been accepting, and warm, and generous, and kind.  But, such as the insecure person that I am, those early visits here would still hit me now and then with self doubt or self condemnation.  

If I happened to commit any kind of faux pas or exhibit any kind of character flaw in those early years, I would have found myself muttering mumbled insecurities to Adel: "Do you think they noticed?"  "Do you think they minded?"  "Do you think they like me?"  Before we were married it was, "Do they like me as your girlfriend?"  After we were married it was, "Do they like me as your wife?"  After I had children it was, "Do they think I'm a good mom?"  This line of internal questioning went on for so many years that I figured it was just the way it was always going to be.  

But that's what was so exceptional about this latest visit.  That inward insecurity has been replaced with a sort of comfort and confidence that I didn't know I could feel.  Part of that confidence comes simply from the maturity of recognizing that not a single one of us is any better than any other.  We may not be the same, but weaknesses as well as strengths are something we all possess.  This realization makes me more comfortable living out my own weaknesses without feeling condemned by them.  The larger bulk of my newfound confidence, however, I believe comes from a different realization that again has to do with the passage of time.  

This time it is in regards to our marriage.  We have been married now for eight and a half years and we love each other more today than we did the day we were married.  Clearly, I am not going anywhere.  I'm in this for life.  There is a great deal of confidence in settling in and realizing that this is not just Adel's family we're visiting.  This is our family.  This is my mom and this is my dad and these are my brothers.  Aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins?  Yep, all mine.  I may not have been raised by them or have grown up with the same influences and expectations.  And I may not always make the same life choices that they would make, but because I'm not going anywhere, we are family just the same.  I no longer feel like "Adel's girlfriend" or "Adel's wife."  I just feel like Megan, part of this family.

This level of acceptance makes me feel so free to be me, strengths and weaknesses and all.  Just like in any family, our personal strengths and weaknesses have found a way to blend and merge and shift around each other as we have grown together over the past eight years.  We have many differences, both big and small, but we also have little touchstones that bond us together.  Dad and I both have an inclination for eating out...pretty much anywhere.  Mom and I both like to sing and hum little songs that pop into our heads.  My brothers and I like to hang out and enjoy each other's humor over a video game, a card game, or even a "Little Mermaid" puzzle.  And we all share memories from over the years that will only grow deeper as more time goes by. 

Yes, this is my family, for better or for worse.

California Dreams, Part 2

Continuing with our vacation recap...

Took the kids to see the third Narnia movie...playtime in the mall first though.

The three brothers went shooting with their dad.

Then they helped clean the guns.

I needed something to do to keep the kids busy while the guys were out so I bought them this cardboard rocket to color and play in.

We started a puzzle but the kids got bored and came upstairs with me.  When I came back into the room, this is what I saw...the three grown brothers working on the "Little Mermaid" puzzle.

 Isaac came back just in time to put in the final pieces and pose for a picture.

Breakfast a la Uncle Adrian...heavenly french toast.

We toured Sterling Winery which the kids enjoyed because of the tram ride to the top.

Not too shabby.

Explaining to my children that this chart on the process of wine making is missing the final step: "First they pick it, then they crush it, then they press it, then they ferment it, then they age it, then they bottle it...and then mommy drinks it."  Who says I'm not home schooling my children?

(Disclaimer: this is supposed to be tongue in cheek, not a literal representation of what I teach my children...if you don't find it amusing, let's move quickly along to the next picture or video...if you do find it amusing, I think I like you.)

This is the second karaoke video...Isaac jingling all the way, with mommy's help.

This post will also end with a picture of the crashed kiddies.  Too much fun.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZ...

California Dreams Part 1

 Here's the chronicle of the first few days of our California trip.  We are having a blast.

On the shuttle to the airport.
(Low quality pic, but hey, it captures the moment.)

 Sleeping on the plane...her head is where her feet should be.

Decorating Lolo and Lola's tree.

Touring The Jelly Belly Factory with Uncle Adrian.

Lots of sweet freebies on the tour...Abby heaven.

Shopping at the Base Exchange.

This picture may seem like it's of nothing, but look closer...

...he's got you in his sights.

Seems like a shopping trip would be boring for the kids, but if mommy is preoccupied in helping pick out clothes, they can have all sorts of fun.

Shortly after this clip was taken, mommy started paying attention and ruined all the fun.

 "The Uncles" keeping the kids busy while mommy and Lola check out.

Lolo stands dutifully by, the epitome of stoic patience.

Singing Christmas karaoke. 

He doesn't know any of the words to this song, but that doesn't stop him from trying.

There is one more video to upload but I have to wait for Adel to cut it shorter...so it's coming soon!

They have crashed each night after all the fun.

And in between all this fun, we've had lots of down time at Lolo and Lola's...Isaac and Abby are pretty well entertained by "The Uncles" and with Lola taking care of us all, I've had lots of time to relax and do random things...like post a blog.  

Gift Craft

I decided to have the kids help make some little gifts for our neighbors and friends this year.
We found this one in one of the kids' magazines.  First they sorted some Fruit Loops by color into baggies.

 Once separated, they crushed the cereal into a powder, or close to it at least.

 They might have had a little fun smashing them to bits...

 ...just a little!

 Then they filled cleaned-out baby food jars with layers of the powdered cereal.

 The only thing I would do differently is to have the kids make thicker layers of each color so the rainbow layers are more pronounced.

 And if you decide you are crazy enough to try this project, make sure to have your vacuum hose handy, as I found it the fastest way to clean up the crumbly mess.

Then I finished it off with a label that says: "This happy little jar of sweet toppings is perfect for your yogurt, ice cream, or oatmeal.  Whichever way you choose to eat it, gobble it up quickly!  Hope you enjoy and have a blessed Christmas."

Ready or Not...

My Christmas countdown is almost finished.  Because we're going to California this year, I've had to get all my Christmas shopping and wrapping and card-making and crafting done by our departure date.  So I have just three days left and I'm almost there!

Here's Abby showing me three links left on the chain.

 I had to include several pics because she just keeps getting cuter.

 Silly girl.

Also, because I knew we would not be here for half of the month, I decided to do very minimal Christmas decorations for our house.  I did have Adel get down our tiny Christmas tree from the attic.  And then, the kids have spent some of their days after Isaac gets home from school making Christmas ornaments for the tree.  I first read them "If You Take a Mouse to the Movies."

At one point the mouse gets excited to make ornaments for his tree and I wanted to use that to motivate the kids.

I think their tree turned out pretty cool (also with the help of some ornaments given to them already as gifts).  And some of the best creations will be going out to some very special family members and friends (shhhh...don't tell, it's a surprise!).

California here we come...

Reading Skills

Isaac just completed reading his first-ever book.  I just off-handedly suggested that he read to Abby (as a way to keep them both busy while we cooked dinner).  But Adel and I started to hear him sounding out the words and actually making sense.  We grabbed the video camera and sat in awe as Isaac, with some assistance from us, read an entire story book.  It was an easy reader, made especially for moments such as this, but we are so proud that he is learning and applying these skills.  Just another in a long line of milestones.  Parenting is so cool.

Perspective

If you've been a regular blog reader of mine (all two of you!), you know that I like to record my little epiphanies as a way to foster my own growth and encouragement when I'm struggling.  If it encourages anyone else to read my thoughts, that's a double blessing!  So here goes my latest:

I have been in a bit of a funk lately, as I am inclined to do when life throws me curveballs.  Ever since the chaos of Mom's surgery has ebbed and I have been back at home trying to press on with life while she prepares for her chemo, I have been fighting off the blues.  It has been really easy to dwell on how life is hard.  I have been thinking a lot about this lately and feeling pretty sorry for myself.

And I have been, because I am by no means above it, turning to some pretty shallow pleasures to get me through.  I have been eating a lot of melted cheese...grilled cheese sandwiches, mac and cheese, quesadillas, enchiladas...because melted cheese makes me so warm and happy.  I have been seeking to rest my weary mind with some numbing, brainless TV and my old friend Spider Solitaire has again become a habit to help me drift off to sleep.  Add to it all a glass of wine here and there (or there and here) and you get the picture.  I am waffling between wallowing, pressing on, and coping.

As I did my bible study yesterday (Beth Moore's Daniel...awesome, inspiring study), I felt like God spoke to me through the mourning of Daniel.  Daniel (chp 10) was morning the loss of his homeland during a time of traditional remembrance.  Many of the other Israelite exiles had returned to their homeland and begun rebuilding the temple, but faithful Daniel was too old to make the journey.  He was mourning the fact that he would never again see his beloved homeland.  He also, with his visions and prophecies, was mourning the difficult future his people would face.  I found the grief of this pillar of faith to be very heartening: so real, so human, and so relatable.  Even one who has such great faith can mourn.

And then I felt like God was, through Beth's words in the study, reminding me that even in our grief, He still has a purpose for us.  I have a strong belief that for this time in my life my purpose is to grow my faith, support and love my husband, teach and nurture my children, and inspire and minister to my friends-in-faith.  I feel so inspired at this moment to stop the in-dwelling of my thoughts on my own suffering and turn outward once again to pour out God's love on those around me.  He gives me so much and honestly I receive so much more when I let His blessings sift through my fingers to the family and friends in my life.  It's when I clench my fists tight and dwell on my problems and my needs that I keep God's mercy from flowing in me and through me.  I'm so thankful for this reminder.

More Decorating Help?!?

I love the rearrangement I did moving the comfy couches into the TV room.  It has created an awesome, cozy space for my friends and family to hang out in.  (I still want to add some color to the walls and some curtains, but that's in the works).

Since the furniture swap, I have felt a bit concerned for my "formal living room."  It used to have my comfy couches and so it was the place where both my small groups gathered weekly.  But as a "formal living room," it really doesn't get used any more.  The kids play in it every now and then but the grownups never go in there and it feels like a wasted space.  That's really a shame, because it's a great, big room.  One of my friends was trying to sell her grand piano and that got me really inspired to buy a piano for that room and make it a friendly music/reading space.  I really need you to come to my house and see this for yourself, but since you probably can't do that, hopefully you can help me from just pictures.

I really like the window-wall...the couch between the end tables and plants looks nice to me (still needs window treatments, but again, that's another work in progress).

This corner I don't love.  This nook, between the two grand columns, is where I can see a grand or mini-grand piano really completing the room.  The round end would fit nicely between the columns and the keyboard end would face the rest of the room.  (And I do play at a basic level and would like to practice and improve as well as teach my kids).  Unfortunately I can't afford that kind of piano.  

Then another friend offered me a low price on an upright piano.  It sounded like a great idea but then I considered the space where I had envisioned my piano.  While I think a grand or baby-grand would look great in this nook, I think an upright would see odd here because of the space behind the columns.  Don't you think an upright needs to be against a wall?  Or is there some way I could decorate the space behind it so that it didn't seem odd?

Another option is to completely rearrange the room and put the upright in this corner. But that would mean uprooting my happy red couch/table/plant combo.  If you look back up at the pic of my TV room, I could also put the upright in place of the china cabinet.  The china cabinet really doesn't belong there but when I turned my formal dining room into a game room, it had to go somewhere else and that's the only place.  If I replace it, it will have to be sold and I'm not sure if that's the right thing to do since I still have the matching table and chairs (I'd be fine getting rid of it, but I would have guilt at not keeping the set together...they were my moms).  

My final option is to pass on the piano for now...start saving for a used mini-grand...and use that money for paint and curtains.  This would not solve my "formal living room" problem, but it might be the smarted move.  What do you think?  Why is this so hard and complicated for me?  I love the idea of decorating but I hate the reality.

In case I totally confused you with too much information, here are the questions/options:

1. Do you think an upright needs to be against a wall?  Or is there some way I could decorate the space behind it so that it didn't seem odd? Basically, should an upright piano go between those columns?

2. Should I rearrange the room so that the piano can go in that corner and move the red couch/table/plants somewhere else?

3. Should I get rid of the china cabinet, even though it matches the table and chairs, and put the upright piano in it's place?

4. Should I hold off on the piano idea and spend my $ on paint and curtains for now?